...a standing ovation?...

Currently listening to: Take A Bow - Rihanna


Dear ol' Melbourne's been uncharacteristically cold and windy these days.
It's full-on eight degrees outside, according to my ever-reliable weather-forecast desktop widget. Not too common for a mid-May Autumn day, obviously. And just as much as I had hoped that early Winter could cheer me up, I find it futile to even try and enjoy the day.

Crazy moodswings, I bide you welcome.
I know I will probably let you hang around for a little too long this time. Please do try to make me even more bothersome and self-centered than I already am; that way I may be able to deal with all this just a bit better. Days are long and times are hard, so I guess I'm gonna need your presence to slap me hard on the face.

It feels like I'm contradicting myself, up to a point of disorientation where I'm unable to differentiate between the firm and the fragile. And I just hate it when my sorry excuse of a happy-ending reality tries to blow out the little flicker of happiness I've been desperately trying to keep lit.

Superficiality bites. Because I'm sure I'm not as smart and ignorant as some possibly-more-insightful people might think I am.

They're supposed to know better. Being blindly judgmental to people can blur out the bigger picture. Sometimes people get too awfully narrow-minded when they see the world through corrupted minds and blocked-out eyes. They drown deep into their self-dug pools of short-sighted satisfaction, thinking they've earned their own appropriate shares of omnipresent wisdom, without even knowing that the true filthiness lies deep inside themselves, far closer to home than they would expect, when they think they've done what is right by meddling with other people's business.

I mean, what's the point of fighting when there's really nothing to fight about?
Maybe they've got a point. Maybe I'm just too worn out to say anything right.
I've learned my lesson, and I'm gonna stay put. But I won't let people bring me down; I know I'm far too worthy for that.

So much for utopic honesty.
But I should've known that I cannot please everybody.

I guess now I should just shut the fuck up, tidy up my stuff, put on my coat, put on a fake smile, and brave the raging afternoon rain outside. A steaming-hot cup of caramel latte is expecting me somewhere out there, beneath the gloomy gray sky.

Then I'll know I'll finally feel better.