...demons out to get me as I stand alone...

Currently listening to: Bittersweet World - Ashlee Simpson


Like, seriously.
Watching FRIENDS back-to-back is soothingly therapeutic, at least for a while.
Although I know I'm probably still as unproductive as ever, if not more, but whatever.

This week has been, well, BAD. With caps, and in bold.
Disasters come in waves, one after another. I'm just thisclose to letting myself succumb into a deep emotional breakdown. But I've known better to hang on and take control. There's no use being a crybaby anyway; I'd just end up being a burden to other people.

And what do I do after unsuccessfully going through a horrendous, emotional week?
Sit down on my fat ass and watch FRIENDS, of course. I mean, seriously. What better way to celebrate?

Do notice the extreme sarcasm I put in my tone. Too bad this blog isn't visual.

I've just realized how tiring it is to be unhappy while the world continues to revolve around me, not even bothering to care. It costs me double the energy, double the stamina. When you try to project a form of happiness that's insincere and hollow. And I don't know how much longer I can endure existing as an empty shell.

It sucks having to survive alone.
Homo homini lupus, much?
Nah. I won't even go into talking about that.

People have been telling me to stop being a bitch and shut the eff up. I know I've been whiny, doing annoyingly, severely, suicidally so that some people are already dying to, like, smack my head onto the pavement and watch me bleed all over the place or something.

*insert crowd yelling 'drama king, drama king' here*

At least you guys have to know that I'm not being fake here. Superficiality transcends my dictionary; I'm just being nothing but real. So shut it.

Anyway.
I just spent my entire Saturday, as in like the whole frikkin' day, all cooped up inside the warm confines of my house. Well I did get out for morning prayer but technically that doesn't count. The weather's been chilly all day, and the winds are at play right now as I type. Talk about late-night whoosh-whoosh. *snickers*

I managed to do a little bit of cleaning, some couple hours of procrastinating, and a LOT of cooking.
Spent like TWO hours in the kitchen channeling my inner chef, boiling and chopping and frying and cutting and doing myself no justice in messing up the whole kitchen area. And boy, it completely paid off in the end.
Macaroni chicken and tomato soup with sausages and vegetables, anyone?
Got some leftover in the fridge if y'all want some. *winks*

Well. Even Mr. Whiny needs his soup. No complaints on that one.

And, on a random sidenote, I kinda miss Paris.
Note that I'm referring to Paris as the city of Paris, France. Not the blond, eternally fake-tanned, globe-trotting, self-promoting one, mind you. And of course, for the fun of adding, Benji Madden is totally out of the picture. *laughs*



There you go. My first and foremost favorite city in the world, without a doubt.
And I'm lucky enough to have been there, once.

Even its closer-to-home Southern Hemisphere counterpart, meaning Melbourne, cannot compare to the real thing, in all levels, dimensions, and aspects. No, not one bit.
Well one can't ask too much when he knows the word 'impossible' bloody damn well to shut up, yet sometimes I wonder, what would life been like as a Parisian (rather than, say, as a Melburnian)?

It's been years since I last visited this magnificent, romantic city. So why the sudden thought of missing Paris after all these years?
I was browsing through the magical world of Youtube and found a couple of movie clips, commercial and indie, with the city set as background. The sparks were ignited there.

Feels kinda nostalgic, to see footages of riverside walks, alleyways, leafless trees, bridges, and couples, all depicted sweetly so as to redundantly emphasize the town's already-established image of romanticism.

I've been there. I had walked along the endless riverside path, during the beginning of dusk, in the middle of Winter, my breaths steamy and frigid as my naive eyes wandered around in awe, taking in the inexplicable beauty of the classic town. I had watched couples kissing and exchanging "je t'aime"s and "j'adore"s as they hugged on the sidewalk. I had cruised the Seine River and watched the city revolve around me, with the Eiffel towering elegantly right at the very center of the square.
Well, I was still a kid back then, but that didn't stop me from falling straight in love with the town.

If reality permits, I promise, I will come back there someday, somehow.
OMG. Come on. Living in Paris is like my biggest dream. *sighs*


*tugs at hair, yawns, stretches hands up in the air*


..Alright.
This has been a VERY LONG post so I'm just gonna stop here for now.
Oh yeah. I've got a new blog layout coming out very soon, so watch out for that. I know that everybody, including myself, is tired of this same old backdrop that's been here for like forever, and I'm excited about making some changes. Soon. =]

Gosh. I really AM moody.
Notice that I shift from whiny to cheery in one single post. Talk about creepy.
Ewh.

Anyways.
Have a nice weekend, guys!
*waves*