...how did i get here? what did i do?...

Currently listening to: Pretend - Secondhand Serenade

.underneaththegraysky.

Captain Cook Cruise, Sydney Harbour, Dec 2009

I sometimes wonder how things would've turned out to be like if the Universe had decided to screw with the sunny tropics and conveniently assigned yours truly to be born somewhere along the chilly coasts of England.

I for one would've loved the sexy British accent in my speech. And the perpetual cold. And of course, the highly-viable chance of getting ash blonde hair instead of black. Even if I had turned out to be Asian in this hypothetical state of existence - maybe good ol' Mother Nature had thought I would've still been better off with slanty eyes and slightly darker skin - I would've still gotten two out of three! And that's fine by me. *snickers*

Being British would've been AWESOME, with caps. I would've been more poised and mannered in my gestures. I could've made a habit out of jogging around Hyde Park every morning. I could've developed more fondness towards scones. I could've grown addicted to tea, not coffee. I could've auditioned for the role of one of Draco Malfoy's good-for-nothing cronies in the Harry Potter movies just for the thrill of doing so. I could've even spent all my spare time stalking the Royals!

And don't even get me started on the weather. Or the bloody strong British Pound. Or on how irresistible and excessively good looking Europeans are in general, blue eyes and all. *sighs*

Life would've been all rainbows and butterflies then, albeit slightly psychotic. I could've been a terrific British bloke, hey! :)

Damn, does that sound good or what? I would be willing to kill - oh yes I would, just you watch - to be able to enjoy every second of this parallel existence.

Well, except that it doesn't actually exist so I can't exactly do anything about it now, can I?

...Yeah. I know.

This is what blogging in the heat looks like, folks.

Maybe this isnt' such a good idea after all.

*fans self furiously*

Speaking of heat, it's freaking FORTY THREE DEGREES right now, and if the constant sweating and the occasional throb at the back of the head are any indication, I think it's safe to say that my system is NOT handling this blistering hot weather very well. No, not too well indeed.

Fortunately, this dazzling epitome of total awesomeness right here *wink wink* remembered to make a quick run to the grocery store yesterday in search of the world's best thirst-quencher, namely Lipton's Lemon Ice Tea, amongst other things. You know, just in case the heat gets too unbearable and I'm forced to get holed up inside the cool confines of my air-conditioned crib so as to avoid getting fried. *grins*

One big fat bottle now sits quietly inside my fridge, waiting to be ruthlessly ravished. Wrong choice. Should've gotten more. Battling the heat is proving to be quite a feat and I need to be better-armed.

I know that probably more than half of Melbourne's population has already flocked to the nearest beach in response to the heat and is now merrily working on destroying their measly skin cells with the help of the sun and a splatter or two of their trusted SPF-laden tanning lotion of choice. I for one is still yet to discover the fun in rolling around in the sand getting baked while wearing nothing except a pair of extra-strength sunnies and the occasional barely-there thong. So, no, I'll stay well out of the sun's glare for now, thank you very much.

Yeah. As if the awkward tan lines I have on my arms aren't hideous enough already. Besides, if my skin gets any darker then it already is now, chances are even my own family members will start having doubts about the authenticity of my Chinese heritage next time they cross paths with me.

*turns up aircon even higher*

Summer, I hereby welcome you.

Please be nice and don't burn any more trees this year. We've had enough of those catastrophic bushfires last time you came around. :(

Ah well. I better get back to sucking on ice cubes and whatnot. There's only so much heat one can handle at a time.

'Till next time, peeps.

P.S: If what I've been reading is correct, I think Britain's got a bit of a weather issue right now as well. While people in Australia are getting too much sun and therefore slowly heading to skin cancer paradise, all the lucky Brits up there are buried waist-deep in snow as we speak. Talk about irony. We could use some snow down here too, Mother Nature! *sighs*