...and i'll take with me the memories...

Currently listening to: It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday - Boyz II Men



THAT mess *points to picture above* is some of the second half batch of my belongings. They basically comprise of most of the stuff I had reluctantly managed to pack up during the last couple of hours.

The first half is already sitting in miserable disarray *chokes* inside my soon-to-be semipermanent space of dwelling just across the highway. Among some new furniture goodies I bought earlier this evening, still horrifically raw and unassembled as they are lying on the carpeted floor.
I guess tomorrow's gonna be another laborous day of MAJOR undoing, if you know what I mean. *sighs*

So here I am, ladies and gentlemen, the emotionally-imbalanced, caffeine-driven, puffy-eyed, sleep-deprived Asian boy of your dreams, shamelessly blogwhoring his heart out in the wee small hours of the morning like he had nothing better to do. *bows*

Well, sleeping could've been a very feasible option, seeing my bed is already unmade; yet as I am stuck amongst all these misty afterthoughts in the approaching time of a dawn, it somewhat occurs to me that I would need to post something here, to make me feel better, at least for the moment.
And I'm just gonna let this one thought sink in for a while.

...I'm moving outta this room, for real.

It somehow hurts, in a way inexplainable by words, to realize that I'm no longer part of 54 Koonawarra St, officially starting tomorrow. After almost ONE YEAR of memories living under this tiny shelter of welfare and protection. Feels like days have gone by far too quickly, while I'm left trying desperately to reach out and grasp whatever is left of them, sadly, with my bare two hands. Trying to hold on to something no longer existing, something obsolete, something too far gone.

I've been through all the process. I've cleaned up the place. I've emptied the wardrobes, and the tables, and all the spaces around the house formerly belonging to me.
And now that the pain-in-the-arse packing session is almost done and over with, somehow I feel like this is all so... unreal.

I can still remember arriving in Melbourne for the first time, during a rainy night in the middle of Winter, as green as I was, as clueless as I could've been. I remember gazing outside the window as the Monash van made its way along the freeway, talking to the Aussie driver about random things, asking silly questions every now and then, swallowing down every trace of fear and animosity that was trying to bring down my innocent barrier of unknowing confidence...

I remember arriving in the house, shocked by how dark and seemingly desolated the suburb was with its dim lights and silent surroundings. I remember being greeted by my landlords, I remember their warm smiles, and genuine friendliness; I remember replying them with my awkward lopsided grins and tired, empty stares, unable to thank them for being so mindful... I remember eating my first ever meal in Melbourne, I remember the tiring unpacking sessions, I remember the cold, I remember the cryings, I remember not being able to sleep during that very first night because I missed home much much more than I thought I would...

I remember settling down in this room, I remember complaining how this room lacked the sufficient space that I needed, I remember feeling somehow cramped and locked up, I remember memorizing my way to campus, I remember tucking my frostbitten hands into the pockets of my fashion-flawed jackets in the mornings..

And I still remember growing to love this room as it was, simple and boring and unentertaining yet comfy and terribly warm, as homey as it was...

I literally grew up in this room. It watched me grow, it watched me laugh, it watched me struggle with all the hardships I initially had to get used to each and every day. It witnessed my growing independence, my fights, my work, my tears... It was like a good, silent, ever-present friend in times of need...

Yeah. It's been a very good year. And now it's time for me to move on.

Sometimes, it's just so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Hard to say goodbye to those things that you cherish, things that your heart values.
But life goes on, quoting the classics. And there should be no place for regrets.

After all, I believe this is all for the better. Sincerely.
I'm gonna miss living in this room. I'm gonna miss this start and finish line for the past days that had gone. A new journey awaits me, and I gotta move forward. As hard as the first step will always be, I will have to bravely go through with it.

So for now, so long, dear old room of mine.
Thank you for everything. For being patient, for being warm, for just being simple and protecting in this complicated world of conflict.

Your memories will stay. Here. *points at place where the heart is supposed to be*

Whoever's gonna be stopping by next would be so lucky to have you, as I had surely been.
*takes a respectful bow*