Monday, July 28, 2008

...about all the times we've shared together...

Aula Barat, Institut Teknologi Bandung, September 16 2006

Blame a cold, wintery night and a still-stuffed-up nose for this Extreme Makeover: Mood-swing Edition I'm currently having.
But yeah. To tell you the truth...

*blows nose with paper towel*

Still can't emphasize that enough, but I do miss SMUKIEZ Choir. Greatly.
And this is not my first time having this kind of creepy, reminiscent tantrum of my past. I've done it like several times in the past, if you guys have noticed. But anyways.

I really miss those times when I was still a part of the choir. I was a member for the full two years, a period within which I felt absolutely blessed and joyous.
I mean, those times were the best times of my life. Being in the choir totally changed my life; it filled my entire high school period with treasured memories.

Well, I used to sing the Tenor #2 parts, or more commonly known as the Baritone. I was one out of the five amazing, solid-voiced Tenors *cough cough* who made up the boys' high-tone end of the team, so to speak. The team configuration was left unaltered for like, I dunno, around 8 months or so, so it wasn't a surprise that we were all pretty close to each other. And I was proud of being part of the group, I really, REALLY was. It was really cool, being able to sing together with four other talented vocalists with great personalities and fabulous sense of humor. What could a guy ask for? *laughs*

Those 40 people were literally my second family. My home away from home. I mean, like, I even saw some of them more often than I saw my own parents, for heaven's sake!
We used to do everything together; practice together, sing together, cry together, laugh together, eat together, even live together! And at one point I became so accustomed to having their presence around me all the time that without them I somehow felt a little lost. It really happened, mind you. And it felt weird, as if something's missing. Even now I feel that I'm not complete, realizing that I'm no longer a part of the choir, or any choir for that matter. *sighs*

I miss skipping classes to attend choir practices for some formal or some charity event or some school occasion or something. I miss running around the school trying to get one of the deputy principals to sign the permission letters for choir members [Note: I was the secretary of the choir for like a year or so] in order for us to be able to go out of our classes and practice in peace. I miss singing in the school hall on the 8th floor, along with its extreme hotness and dustiness without the air-con turned on. I miss being obliged to still go to school on weekends and holidays just to attend practices. I miss going to school without wearing uniforms [during weekends of course], because the school officials gave us permission to enter with free attire. I miss after-school practices on the fifth floor. I miss just being around the other choir members. I miss singing together with them.

I miss the choir.

It's been more than a year since I left the choir, yet I don't know why I can't still get over the fact that it used to mean the world to me, especially in high school. It gave me a reason to wake up in the morning. And any further exaggerations aside, yes I still say that it meant a lot to me. Sincerely.

I was happiest when I was part of SMUKIEZ Choir. And nothing compares to that.
All the laughters, the tears, the stories, the fights, the drama, the memories, they all help make me the person I am today. And I'm grateful.

I can't find a replacement to this fantastic choir, and I won't even try. 'Cuz you guys are just irreplaceable. *smiles*

Also, then I was able to sing. Now? Not so much.
I can tell you that now I don't sound any better than Amy Winehouse whacked on crack.

But anyway.
It's funny, really. Noticing how we, the so-called 'choir alumni', still maintain close contact with each other through whatever means possible. Was checking out my posted photos on Facebook the other day and realized that on some of the old choir photos, the comments were from choir alumnis, and they were still discussing about arranging a reunion at the end of this year. Hopefully.
YES, guys, make it happen! And count me in. *crosses fingers*

I don't know when I would be able to sing together with you guys again, now that we're all, like, scattered in all parts of the world. As a matter of fact, the ex-choir fellas from the 2008 batch are probably on their way of spreading out to the corners of the globe as we speak. Well that's kinda sad, but life goes on, and I have to move on.

There will be a time, I'm sure, when we'll be all together again, singing at the top of our lungs like we used to, once in a blue moon. And I'm gonna wait for that time to come. *bows*

..And that was the end of today's cheesy ramble. Period.
Have a great week, guys. =]

PS: A special shoutout to ReRe, my bestest high-school friend. Whatever you're going through right now, do remember to stay strong, buddy! My support goes out to you. *hugs* Ganbatte ne! =]

Friday, July 25, 2008

...time stands still and two hearts catch fire...

Well in my case, my frikkin' throat just caught fire, more like.
*coughs endlessly*

I really don't know what the heck is wrong with me.
My nose is running, my throat is sore and blocked, and for some reason I just keep on coughing. Last two nights were absolutely disastrous; I just couldn't sleep, and my nose was blocked the whole time I was trying to sleep so basically I had been subconsciously suffocating myself all along. Add to this mess the fact that it hurts to even swallow let alone cough, so yeah, I guess you guys can make out the general idea of this terrible condition I've been trying to randomly explain?

*wipes nose with tissue*

Oh my. This sucks, big time.
My body just picked the very wrong time to break down and get sick.
Just now I tried to make an appointment to see a doctor at the Monash University Medical Service Center, and the Asian receptionist lady there was just being the biggest bitch ever. If I hadn't been as sick and helpless as a run-over stray dog or something I would've, like, unleashed my germy wrath upon her and like told her to frikkin' set up an immediate appointment with a doctor soon, or else. But I guess being sick has got its own advantages. At least I must get my emotions under control.*sighs*

But yeah. So here I am. Typing my bitterness away in the Campus Center com lab, waiting for time to pass so I can get back to the frikkin' clinic and try again. After all the lady did tell me to come back after an hour or so to try again, and so I will.

All germs aside...

I am supposed to be going out tonight, Friday night and all. Hanging out with the usual pack of people is bound to be nice and comforting, even more so if our destination tonight is the Melbourne-renowned Mesh Restaurant at The Crown Promenade Hotel. Like, OMG. Seafood buffet, anyone? *drools*

Yet knowing that I'm still sick, I dunno if I should still go.
Well, I can go if I want to, at the expense of getting better in no time, since seafood is supposed to make your throat suffer more, not less. Frankly, the concept of pigging out on seafood can never be associated with curing a severe case of sore throat. But hey, I've got like two more hours to think it through, so who knows? As you all know, I am in fact insensible and clingy; perhaps these two qualities may prove to be really helpful in leading me to a decision, if you get what I mean. *laughs*

I do hope I'll get well before the start of next week, though.
Can't believe it's the end of Week 2 already. I really should start paying attention to my uni work if I want to go on with my I-wanna-get-better-grades-this-semester epiphany. *winks*

So, have a good weekend, peoples! *hugs*
Thanks for those who've been wishing me to get better soon. Really appreciate 'em. And let's just hope that I WILL be getting better soon, for real? =]

Sunday, July 20, 2008

...we all need a little tenderness...

Currently listening to: The Heart of the Matter - India Arie

Melbourne CBD, July 19 2008

Here's to a very good weekend, and a cold, blissfully eventful Saturday night in dear ol' Melbourne.
*raises a glass of champagne*

Oh alright that was actually plain water not alcohol but whatever.
Gahh. All is well, all is well. *puts glass down*

It's just past midnight and I'm exhausted.
Been wandering around the city area all day long with my usual pack of favorite people, just having a good time together, existing with pride as a foursome at first, then switching into different five-unit combinations later on during the day. I was basically on some kind of a crazy mission, attempting to satisfy my more-than-acute sugar-craving to no avail. And in the end, after a senseless marathon of chocolate and waffle and ice-cream and coffee and a bowl of udon and a glazed donut all throughout the day, I feel as if I've just, like, eaten the whole world or something.

Ooops. Okay that's gross.
Anyways. As I was saying...

Quick recap!

We started off at QV's always-irresistible Max Brenner *drools at the thought*, where we spent like three full hours laughing our asses off to a whole bunch of nonsense jokes and what-have-you. Then after walking around the complex for a while, we set off to Starbucks at The Westin, where we spent another hour chatting and laughing and shouting and taking pictures, and basically noise-polluting the place. *laughs*

After a dinner full of laughs at Kaneda, we went to Bourke Street to go see the designer displays currently set up on the windows of Myer. Then we stopped by the ever-pleasant-to-the-eye Federation Square to, again, take pictures and fool around for a bit, before finally going across the street to Flinders Street station to meet Karin and went home after a long day.

This was when something really interesting happened.
Drumrolls please? *grins*

Mental note: NEVER travel alone on a Melbourne train late at night, especially on Saturdays, for wacky things may happen on the way and probably scare you to death.

This is more or less what happened to us.
We had only been sitting inside the train for like, I dunno, five minutes at that time, and were basically taking our time chattering about random stuff when this young Aussie guy suddenly barged into our compartment, shouting and swearing and randomly banging on stuff like a lunatic dog let loose or something.

He was making all sorts of banging noises on the doors and seats and was all like, "RAAAAAAAAHHHHH! I AM GOING TO *beep beep beep* HER!"

Do notice that I even bothered to censor some words as they are so inappropriate. *clears throat*
Moving on...

Yeah. That very moment I was in the middle of an animate conversation with Edina and Karin, and when that guy came in and did what he did, I just stopped in my tracks, stunned. The whole compartment grew silent as he continued unleashing his apparent anger on every object that came into view, swearing on top of his lungs as he did so, repeating the F-word in like every three words or less. Then after a while he grew tired of banging on solid stuff, I guess, and just slumped onto a seat opposite another Aussie guy, a stranger, who then tried to console him by asking what was wrong.

I tried to concentrate and listen to their conversations as I just sat there, genuinely interested in what was going on with the guy, despite the obvious tension that was engulfing the whole compartment. The emotionally-imbalanced Aussie guy started spilling his guts out to that stranger and gradually settled down. He came to his senses, grew relaxed, and actually approached some people to apologize for his wacky behavior. He shook hands with people, saying he was sorry for being such a wreck and stuff. Funny, huh?

Well I'm quite sure that he was half-drunk and wasted, since he appeared incoherent and disoriented all the while. He kept on talking about strange stuff, doing ridiculous dances, and rambling about wacky things to people. Even when I got off the train at Huntingdale, he was still speaking to some Aussie lads about getting laid and picking up girls in Flinders Street or something. And yeah, honestly, I feel sorry for him.

Second mental note: NEVER trust online networking sites as a reliable source when trying to find out things about people you're curious about, because in the online world, you can never truly believe in anything you see, or read, or know. *laughs*

If you don't get the statement above, don't worry, I can assure you that you're not the only one.

So yeah. That was it. You guys might notice that I deliberately left out most of the important details to the story. But hey, even a drunk eighteen-year-old guy wrecking havoc inside a weekend night train needs his privacy. So I'll just leave you all at that.

I'll probably just conclude by saying that, yeah, you'll never know what you'll get when you get into a Melbourne train on a late Saturday night. *grins*

...Alrighty. Post nailed, time for bed. *yawns*
Tomorrow's gonna be another long day so I gotta be well-rested.

Finally, for you all the amazing people I mentioned about earlier on, OMG, you guys never fail to make my day, in the silliest and most ridiculous of ways possible.

Edina, Listi, David, Tomo, Karin, you know my words.
Thanks heaps for the unforgettably happy trip! *hugs*

And now JJ's wishing you all faithful readers a very beautiful Sunday. =]

Friday, July 11, 2008 always have my unspoken passion...

Currently listening to: Just The Way You Are - Susan Wong

Susan Wong totally rocks my world.
My friend got me two of her albums from Jakarta, and now I'm officially addicted to her songs, like, again. Feels almost like high school all over again, minus the perpetual cold, of course. *laughs*

Another mental note:
When in emotional doubt, take some time to whine, then proceed to the nearest movie theater to watch a bangin' good movie adaptation of a legendary, first-class musical play.

For those of you located reasonably proximate enough within reach to have had to endure the pain of listening to my continuous nonsense bitchfest during these last couple of days, you would probably have figured out by now *like, d-duh!* that I haven't exactly behaved like my usual self lately. So far I've realized that I've been gloomy, and moody, and painfully naggy. Not a trace of the socially-known-and-accepted JJ who's generally known to be loud and laugh-y and friendly and wacky, and even occasionally bitchy. *raises eyebrows*

Yet now I can be sure to say that those hateful days are behind me. At least for now.

I'm now feeling freshly rejuvenated. Thanks to all those kindhearted people who have bothered to bear with my incessant craziness, thanks to the presence of the sometimes-annoying-but-beautifully-rainy weather, and of course, thanks to Edina, Tomo, and and David for thoughtfully taking me to watch Mamma Mia!: The Movie last night, after a fun afternoon of cooking and an evening of sports.

*starts humming songs from the movie absentmindedly*

For the record, I always love musicals. Call me cheesy but I do. First Phantom of The Opera, then Dreamgirls, then Hairspray, and now Mamma Mia! to add to the list.

And yeah, I can't deny the fact that this movie had this REALLY happy vibe spreading out all throughout its full two-hour-ish run, and in the end I couldn't help but sing along to the songs included in the storyline, classic songs like "Dancing Queen", "Chiquitita", or even the title song "Mamma Mia!" itself. And it was comforting to realize that I wasn't the only one getting carried away by the movie; the round of applause eagerly given by the audience after the closing credits assured me that the movie was indeed mesmerizing, in its own sweet, musical way.

*searches YouTube for clips from the movie*

Anyway. *clears throat*
Results are out, and honestly speaking, I'm quite satisfied with the grades that I got.
Well they're not exactly overwhelmingly flashy or anything, but for my they're indeed good enough. I'm going to work harder this semester, just like I know I should be, I've promised myself that much. Yet for the time being, let me just take some time off and feel content about myself. *laughs*

Congrats to you guys who've achieved satisfactory, or better yet, exceptional grades.
For those who failed one or two, don't give up. There's still time to, like, pay off your debts, so to speak. So, cheer up, cheer up! *grins cheekily*

A new three-month academic fight to face starting next Monday, and I'm excited!
I hope I'll soon be able to negotiate with Allocate+ *sighs* and sort out my timetable problem, so that this long-and-cold semester will flow smoothly like I want it to.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I've been here for more than a year.
Time sure flies. Big time.

Enjoy your weekend, people!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

...i've been doing some soul searching...

Currently listening to: Someone Like You - Susan Wong

Federation Square, Melbourne, June 4 2008

So this very particular song *points at song status above the pic* has been mentally put on continuous loop in my head ever since, like, I dunno, yesterday night or so?
Blame the oh-so-inspiring walk around Federation Square with my two favorite people the other night for this latest symptom of obsession. *wink wink*

Well not that I actually wanna blame 'em for that matter; I actually had a very good time there, just wandering around, starting at the beautiful, glimmering lights, blowing out breath vapors casually into the winter-y air, digging my hands deeper into my coat pockets, and other mellow-jellow stuff you'll get disgusted about.

It's good to be a hopeless romantic during the freezing heights of winter. *grins*

Yet it sucks ass to realize that the mere state of being deeply inspired doesn't necessarily mean that I will be able to make the best use of it and really do anything productive. And the process of trying to interpret ideas into well-written words and fluent paragraphs can be particularly hard to do, especially when this lazy-ass person doing so hasn't actually been writing that much during the last one year and two months.
You know, writing as in doing-some-real-piece-of-literature kind of writing, not writing as in periodically rambling-in-a-public-bitchfest-blog kind of writing.

Long story short, I've basically been struggling my way in pouring my emotions into some kind of a decent short story. One page so far, out of I don't know how many more. It gets more annoying when, no pun intended, I find it even bloody damn harder to write in my own mother tongue.

I mean, I used to believe that writing stories and pieces in English would be cheesy as I didn't regard myself as being that competent in using the language then, but now after like a LOOOOOONG period of hiatus from this particular hobby, I guess I'd subconsciously given myself a once-over and, dunno, perhaps had my lingo capabilities switched over?

Whatever. All I know is that I'm suffering from a major writer's block and can't do anything to escape from it. Nothing just seems right, and I bitterly feel that I'm losing my touch.
Hence the song-being-mentally-put-on-loop state of mind I mentioned above.
I'm a nutcase, I know. Bear with it. *sighs*

Damn. I need coffee.
I don't know what can possibly happen to my state of being if I keep my caffeine consumption rate at this crazy intake density. But every writer needs his muse. And I can only hope that those adorable brownish black beans of inspiration can at least perform their simple magic to clear up the writer's block clouds that are hovering above my head as I speak, and can finally let me write on in peace. Please.

Have a nice week, guys!
Notice that this time I cheerfully mean it. *laughs*

And oh yeah, for us university slaves waiting anxiously for the publication of results this Friday, may I remind you to start preparing our racing minds and worried hearts, and let the panic attacks and sleepless nights begin. *sighs*

PS: On a sidenote, I have this freaky junior guy constantly messaging me on Facebook, asking me what I'm doing and where I am and a whole bunch of freaky, unimportant stuff. Been trying to ignore him and act cool, but he just doesn't stop. I swear he's driving me nuts. I mean, like, come on, lay off the look-at-me I-wanna-be-cool attitude and get the eff off my virtual property, kiddo. We may only be communicating through the Internet but you still terribly piss me off. *shrugs*

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

...about the ballarat trip...

Sovereign Hill, Ballarat, July 2 2008

Alright. So the Ballarat trip had turned out to have gone really well today.
Well yeah the weather was totally crappy during the first half of the trip and all the roads and walkways were bumpy and muddy because of the obnoxious rain, but all wacky-weather aside, it was actually FUN, with caps.

At least I know for sure that I had a great time there all day, just walking around the classic gold-rush mine-town, watching all the silly shows, taking pictures, laughing out loud with friends, and all.

A lot of things have happened during the day. Profound things, I might add. I heard stuff, saw stuff, understood stuff, cleared out stuff, clarified stuff, denied stuff, collected stuff, tons and tons of stuff. And I have been so madly preoccupied with everything that at the end of the day I just didn't know what to believe anymore. I was really, REALLY tired.

Dirty details dismissed, by the way; if curious please do ask. *clears throat*

So yeah. I had arrived home earlier feeling EXHAUSTED and emotionally-overwhelmed. My feet were sore, my black pants were severely stained with disgusting dry mud, and like a zillion things were swirling around my head incoherently, making me feel dizzy. Then a couple hours afterwards, after a laugh-and-talk session with my dear housemates and a nice, hot, well-earned shower, I started to feel better, much much better.

A special thanks to you, for doing the one thing that you do best, by staying close from afar, letting me know that you're always there for me.
*smiles earnestly*

Bottom line?
I know I'm a bitch. An effin' fluent one at that, thank you very much. And I'm not ashamed about it at all. But for now I've promised my bestest bestie *winks* to be a good boy and at least try to behave, so I guess I'd have to bide adieu to Mr. Bitchy for now.

Bebs, I hate it when you're right. *sighs*
And I should stop rambling right about now.

Perhaps I just need a really good rest after all.
And I'm gonna make sure that the 11AM hairdresser appointment that's waiting for me tomorrow is gonna make me feel even better after all this emotional roller coaster trip. Cuz if it can't possibly cheer me up, nothing else can.

Okay now I'm starting to sound terribly disgusting myself.