Tuesday, October 30, 2007

...i got my eye on you...

Blackout-craze day three. Omigosh I'm starting to feel brainwashed.

Was reading through the latest edition of Lot's Wife, the one-and-only internal student-run tabloid of Monash University Clayton. I always like reading stuff that's in the tabloid, partly because the articles are somewhat dim-witted yet crackingly funny, and those writers who contribute to the tabloid are all smart and witty in their own special ways. It's outspoken, often sarcastic, and free-spirited.

Yeah, I was skimming through the latest edition, cracking up every once in a while, feeling occasionally Aussie-ish while at one point recognizing the upcoming election this November, then suddenly I came to realization that the Lot's Wife edition I was reading actually was the supposedly LAST edition of the tabloid. Evident from the title, "THE LAST HURRAH". (Hurrah is the Oz slang for Hooray, if I'm not mistaken).

Well, censorship is always a major issue for every form of published media. Reminds me of those good ol' times part-timing as a journalist back in J-Town, when my boss constantly reminded me of ethics and censor-possible materials contained in my work. Yeah, Lot's Wife would be shut down temporarily because its funding is suspended by the MSA due to the presence of a supposedly-offensive material in its publication. Well, not gonna go into details here, but basically that's the issue.

Personally, I don't think this is fair. The whole idea of Lot's Wife being present is actually to provide Monash Uni Clayton students with some sort of a place to express their views and opinions about stuff that concerns all. And to be able to serve that function, it HAS to be honest. And frank. And liberal. And straightforward. Hell yeah it can be awfully biased sometimes, but aren't we all? *sighs*

Even in a country as free-willed and open-minded as Australia, minor opinionated issues like this can sometimes get in the way. Free press is the new groove, people. Might as well go back to the era of communism straight away. Well I have to add that I am not defending anyone here. I'm merely expressing my view.

So, yeah. I was kinda shocked to find out that the tabloid is now put on hold, at least temporarily. Even the last edition is independently-funded by contributors and friends.

Now I am so gonna miss Lot's Wife. Can no longer grab a free copy from that worn-out newsstand in front of Monash Radio on the way back to class from lunch.
But wait. Let's just hope that the suspension thingy is canceled or something. That way I won't feel so sad. Yeah I know I'm exaggerating here.

As I was mentioning to Ian and Jacelyn during this afternoon's Buyer Behavior tute, my brain doesn't seem to be willing to cooperate with my mood these days. It's like I really, REALLY want to start doing some work, but my brain doesn't seem wanting to boot up and get excited about that, AT ALL. I am super-slow in digesting information these days, common ones let alone academic-related lectures and what-have-you. Dunno why, but it feels like my senses are still set on that super-happy holiday-mood, and I don't know how to, well, reset the clock and get back to speed, metaphorically speaking.

Anyone knows how to boost up a lazy brain? *blinks*
Let's just hope this lemot-ness *in lack of a better word* doesn't linger for weeks. Otherwise I will as well be dead lagging on my work. *sighs*

Hugs 'n kisses people!!
Hahahahahahhaha. Lates. =D

Sunday, October 28, 2007


Britney Spears's new album, "Blackout", has been released in Australia.
And, trust me, the album is UNBELIEVABLY GOOD!

Well I'm not going into details here. But yeah, it is good. Period. Despite the hideously TRASHY album cover art *sighs*. It's full of catchy songs, potential singles, contagious beats, and while her voice is still breathy and unbearably squeaky, she knows how to turn things around by choosing the right songs to sing. She amazingly still has this tantalizing aura of an amazing popstar with her and the songs in the album still proves that she's not just another trainwreck of a fading pop princess.

Okay. Let's just stop this rant before I start sounding like the crazy Britney-freak I once was at some point in my adolescent life. *grins*

This weekend was quite uneventful, to say the least. Besides the fact that daylight saving starts today and basically every clock in reach should be altered to match the new time zone.

Went to the city today with friends to attend the evening mass at St. Francis church. Had dinner at Chinatown. Laughed some. Sighed some. Smiled some. Met some old friends. Sang along the whole way back home. Felt a bit lightheaded. Felt a bit left-out. Felt a bit smitten. But in the end I am still grateful, realizing that sometimes The Big Guy Up There really does have a strange sense of humor. It feels like HE's playing around with my life and arranges things in such a way that surprises by surprises keep coming one after another. Sweet ones, shocking ones, even unexpected ones.

Gosh. I love HIM to death. *smiles* Thanks Lord!

Huff. So that's about it, I guess.
As usual, when moodswings kick in, you won't know just how far it can take you.
But yeah, as usual, the sugar-coated sweetness of a dazzling smile always stops me dead.

Omigosh. Now I sound freaky.
So how do I cope? *sighs*

"...Ooh, ooh baby
Touch me and i come alive
I can feel you on my lips
I can feel you deep inside
Ooh, ooh baby
In your arms I finally breathe
Wrap me up in all your love
That's the oxygen I need..."

Well sorry. But I can't help it.
Blackout-crazed I hereby confirm.

Let the guilty pleasure begin!!! *laughs*

Thursday, October 25, 2007

...i'm singing in the rain...

God bless you mighty Melbourne! *winks*

It was raining so beautifully this morning. The rain started pouring by the time I finished my Macroeconomics lecture around 11 a.m, and I had to rush to the Campus Center afterwards, which is actually within a five-minute walking distance from Building 73, to grab my lunch and buy stuff. So I had to walk through the chilly morning shower with Yurike, shivering all the way.

Raindrops splattering on the 2nd floor edge window back in Smukie *sighs*

Well actually it wasn't that much of a proper rain that literally pours; they don't have those kinds of generous rainfalls too often in Australia. But yeah, the drizzle stayed for several hours, even when I was walking home it accompanied me all the way through. The sky is still gloomy grey outside as I'm typing away right now, and the air feels so comfortably chilly and cool on my skin. Quite perfect for a nice cuddly nap, if you ask me. *grins* But yeah. It was good.

Hell yeah I agree that the drizzle was cold and distracting. But at the same time it was also equally, if not more, fun, really. I've always enjoyed spending time under the rain, be it walking, singing, skipping happily, even dancing around like a nutcase. *laughs* I've always considered myself to be having this weird special connection with the rain, as if I was some sort of a creepy psychic melancholist who could actually feel the soothing spirit of the rain wash away all my pain and sorrow.

I know, sappy huh?

A rainy day seen from my old classroom window *I miss this view*

But honestly, I love the rain. The soft lingering scent of rainy days just drives me mad. It reminds me of home, of times when I used to sit by the windows of my workroom back home, leaving the balcony door half-open, sipping a cup of mild latte while listening to the raindrops splattering on the rooftops above. Now that's what I call a perfect quality moment. Times when a private, silent conversation is divinely made between the rain and my hollow, longing conscience.

A foggy, rainy morning viewed from my Taman Anggrek Condominium during the 2007 Great Jakarta Flood

Oh well. Those pictures are just too memorable. I'm totally lost for words now.
I can't believe that the rain brings back a lot of precious memories.

Yet still, too bad Melbourne rain is far too subtle and vague, compared to those dense tropical rainfalls that J-Town has during this time of year. *sighs*

Hey Jamie Cullum I wanna join your singing-in-the-rain parade!!
Hahahahahahahaha. =D

Takecare peeps! *hugs*

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

...and i was once a fool it's true...

These two days went quite swimmingly.

Met friends. Met teachers. Heard shocking news. Helped newbies get textbooks. Sold some. Bought some. And this afternoon I had to spend like A$ 75 *sighs* for a brand-new-looking textbook for Buyer Behavior; a subject that turns out to be ridiculously fun. Should I re-confirm my nerdyness once again now? *winks*

The rest of the subjects? Not so much. They may as well rot in hell. *sobs*

So, here are my textbooks for this trimester! *drum rolls*

They are for Business Law, Macroeconomics, Buyer Behavior, and Business Statistics, respectively. Aren't they all irresistibly adorable at their most? *throws up*

I got 12 classes to attend in total this trimester, which means that the possibility of having a day-off is now officially obsolete. My days are gonna be filled with readings, essays, Q-Manual, and presentations.
I don't understand why Part 2 Trimester 2 students need to be this busy, especially considering that we all are taking the same amount of units, which is FOUR. *sobs*

Whatever. I'll have to stop complaining and get on with it anyways.

Britney's new album is coming in less than a week!!
Buying a copy of 'Blackout' is so gonna be one of the worst guilty pleasure endeavors of the year for me. *winks*

All the best for all those Uni ppl whose exams are approaching! =)

Sunday, October 21, 2007

...will be miles away...

I'm feeling somehow Christmas-y all of a sudden.

It was like one of those unexpected emotional rushes that just make you freeze on your tracks, realizing that you have this empty space in your heart that is yelling out wanting to be filled in with some familiar warmth of happiness which is still unreachably distant. I know this may sound sappy, but yeah.

I miss writing cards. I miss burning audio CDs of Christmas songs. I miss practicing for singing carols. I miss the decorations. I miss the holiday aura. I miss Christmas.

Two months shouldn't be that long. Especially considering that I will be celebrating Christmas back home. *winks* Oh well. Time to grow up JJ.

Melbourne was frikkin' HOT today. Not sunny, HOT. As in very, VERY HOT. The air was dry and I was suffocating. So, out of nowhere, I decided to buy a portable box fan to provide some handy cooling-down to my room. Well, actually Teguh somehow inspired me when I saw him kicking a box fan when we were grocery-shopping in Coles. So yeah, the euphoria just kicked in and I rushed to grab another box fan from one of the shelves then decided to hell with it and queue up. *grins*

As it turns out, the fan is quite useful! It's buzzing behind me as I'm typing right now, and the cool-down effect seems to relax me quite a bit. Along with the help of a glass-full of iced Pokka Green Tea of course! *laughs* Talk about a hugely successful sugar-and-caffeine boost that actually works to save the day.

But still, I can't help but notice that the weather seems to be going all flunky throughout this past week. Isn't it a bit too early for a painful glimpse of Summer, dear Mother Earth?

My classes start tomorrow, btw.
I bid welcome to Thee, oh three more months of laborous hard work!! *bows down*

Alright then lates ppl! *winks*

Saturday, October 20, 2007

..to sweet beginnings..

Currently listening to: Summer Sunshine - The Corrs

Can't believe Summer is nearly here already.
I don't wanna jump to conclusions, but considering the weather this week has been awfully cranky and extremely SUNNY, I can't help thinking that probably the lengthiness of Summer is most likely to be waiting round the corner this year.

Well anyways.
I went to the Monash University Clayton lake yesterday with MelMel and John.

We originally visited the campus 'cuz we wanted to drop MelMel off somewhere around the library so she could attend one of her tutorial classes but I suddenly came up with the crazy idea of visiting the lake so MelMel changed her mind and tagged along. Well not that it mattered to us or what, but I think her tutor would realize that she went missing at some point during the class yet she came along anyways *grins*.

So yeah. The lake was beautiful!
I enjoyed the scenic view, the fresh air, the strategic photo-op locations *yet again*, and of course the sense of peacefulness of the whole area. Never thought the campus complex would have such a pretty location to look at. Whew, the peeps of the nearby residential halls must be so lucky! *sighs*

I also had a fantastic singing session with Rex and Edina in the afternoon. It's actually really nice, meeting new people with shared passion in music, since so far I couldn't seem to be able to find a decent place to sing my heart out like I could back home [Oh now I miss ReRe even more]. Rex's voice is good, and I totally admire Edina's piano-playing skills. Never knew the Monash Religious Center would be such an ideal place to sing in, but as it turned out, the room was just perfect with all the echo and the grand piano *blinks*. *smiles*
Am looking forward to jam with you guys again! Hahahahaha. =D

Got plans for today? I don't.
I'll probably spend the rest of the day slacking off at home and maybe do a little bit of cleaning later in the afternoon.

The new trimester starts next Monday *sighs*. I feel excited yet reluctant to return to real life after all those days feeling happy during the holidays.

Have a nice weekend guys! *winks*

Thursday, October 18, 2007


Today was tiring as HELL.

Helped out with the city tour today, labored myself up to a point somewhere between excitement and exhaustion, and eventually I kinda ended up being in charge of leading a HUGE group of fifty people all around the city area. The sun was like scorching hot, literally, and the air was dry. My skin felt extremely prickly all the way due to excessive exposure to the sun, I guess, and I was soooooooooooooo desperately craving for one of those bug-eye-designed sunnies. Mental note, JJ. Purchase one as soon as possible!

Oh well. But it was quite fun anyways. Newbies-slash-eye-candies were all around, as Angela puts in. *grins* And meeting new people is always something I look forward to. So, yeah. It's all worth the effort, I guess.

By the way.
I got the chance to read through the 2007 SMAK 1 Yearbook: FIN today.

Overall, it is GOOD. Exceeds expectations, more like. There are some minor human errors here and there, and at least THREE major ones which actually shocked me. But nonetheless it is really really good. Brings back good ol' memories, and I'm not even officially old yet. Am I? *sobs*

I enjoyed flipping through the pages of the book and suddenly realized that everybody has grown up in their own individual ways. From those childish-looking grinning faces clad in blue-PE-shirts to brilliant smiles amidst well-groomed and elegant promnight appearances, yes we all have changed, somehow.

It's funny, really, when you think about it. How the last traces of childishness have been eroded off of us by years of hard work and high levels of endurance fighting to survive life in the school. We lost life, but found another one that was equally, if not more, beautiful. We lost friends, but found others. We lost hope, but found motivations. Lost some, got some. All in the name of maturing and growing up.

We often thought that we couldn't make it. That we would fall apart in the process, or give up before reaching the final finish line. Yet, somehow, in the end, we did it!

Here we are, up up and away, ready to fly and pursue our dreams. But our legs are still tied up by memories of the past, of those days, of friends, of moments, of our young spirits, sometimes making it hard for us to really soar and break free off all those chains.

I personally don't want to let go and move on with my life. I still wanna be with you guys, doing all those crazy things we used to do, laughing our heads off, crying our hearts out, just living life the way we wanted to, wrapped in those ugly white-and-grey uniform outfits that symbolize our youthful days. When we were once together, and young, and wild, and free, and happy...

Oh, well.
High school is not just a simple stage of life. It means growth, and changes, and memories, and lessons to be learned, and goals to be achieved.

And I'm thankful that I have been given the chance to experience one of the best moments of my life this way.

No dreams. No might-have-beens. No in-an-ideal-worlds.
Just a simple statement of sincere gratitude.

That you guys stay. For eternity. In my heart, forever will be.


Monday, October 15, 2007

..in mysterious ways..

Life works in truly mysterious ways.
And today I realize that the world is too small. Too small indeed!

Omigosh. This is surreal. I just can't seem to easily grasp the fact that almost all my friends are somehow freakishly interrelated. It's like somebody is an acquaintance of somebody else and that somebody is related to another one and that other one is a friend of another acquainted someone's and so the circle goes on until it turns back to me.

Monash College Orientation Week began today, and I was helping out with stuff, you know, trying to be a good mentor. Met quite a number of Indonesians, including one of my fellow 2007 Smukie alumni who turned out to be one of my assigned mentees for the upcoming trimester! That came as quite a shock. But then again, Melbourne is technically raided by Indonesians, so yeah, I'm supposed to be used to seeing a lot of Indonesian-resembling faces every now and then already. Hahaha.

Was chatting with MelMel's housemate who coincidentally turns out to be my former classmate at a course which technically makes him a long-lost childhood friend, and who is actually the best friend of another old friend of mine who is now studying at Caulfield *are you getting any of this? i know i'm not*. We talked, and he tried to refresh my memories and remind me of him being existent somewhere in my past, a memory which in the end somehow resurfaced and made me smile, realizing that I'm INDEED old *sighs*. Oh well. Reality check please JJ.

Yeah. So we talked, and laughed, and it turns out that he is also passionate in singing! Go figure, right? Life as a weird sense of humor, if you ask me. I watched some of his candid videos on Youtube and I think he's got quite a melodious voice. So, yeah, can't wait to hear him sing LIVE! Hahahahaha. =D

Well the bottom line is that, sometimes I am still amazed by how The Big Guy Up There seems to have such a crazy sense of humor when it comes to my life. Don't you think HE would make a perfect soccer dad? *winks*

Summer is coming quicker than I thought it was. Summer means heat, and heat means INSECTS! Omigosh. I HATE INSECTS. I need to catch up with my insect repellent stock, just in case. Need to need to need to! *shakes head*

A tiring week is waiting for me, I guess.
I hope yours will all be pleasant as mine will also be, eventually. *winks*

Alright then take care people! =)

Saturday, October 13, 2007

...saturday night fever...

*jumps around excitedly*

Today turns out to be one of my happiest days ever since I got to Melbourne. Spent the whole day celebrating the birthday of a dearly-loved-one by going around the city doing random stuff, laughing, horsing around, meeting people, and whathaveyou. We also talked, a LOT. Being nostalgic on a special day never hurts, right?

So, yeah. My cousin-slash-sister-slash-partner.in.crime turns 20 today! Getting older, getting wiser. Hear hear? *winks*

Wishing you all the best for everything in your life, sis!
May your days be filled with overflowing love, joy, and countless blessings.

Well I probably can't do much and sweet-talk you anymore, darlin'. You've been around my full eighteen years and I've been around too damn much throughout your life for you to have heard almost all of my stocks of wisewords and quotes that they get so pathetically boring and outdated when I'm the one who's talking and you're the one who's listening.

It's weird, you know, when I think back and realize that we grew up together all along.

Well like dduhh! *winks*

But yeah, really, you've grown up so much now that I can barely relate the present you to the kid version of you, with that cute set of broken teeth and ear-ripping shrieks and high-pitched laughs and deadly slaps and other childhood guilty pleasures you don't even wanna read about. Trust me, I remember much much more than you think I do. *grins*

The mini-me-five-year-old Jane couldn't even stay still for five seconds let alone sit down and talk. All you did was jump around everywhere trying to be fierce to everything including me *sobs* and all you cared about was fun. Fast forward some couple of years, now you can comfortably fold your legs, snuggle up into a couch, smile excessively, and chatter away for hours between sips of Starbucks lattes in cool, breezy afternoons. The old-version-of-Jane you would've run straight to troublemakers and hit them straight on their faces if they dared messing up with you or with anyone you were close with. But now, troublemakers are nothing more than a mild nuisance in your eyes; you can either think hard and feel sorry about them or just let them go and fuck up their lives themselves. You would get angry at me easily and go all freaked-out over minor things like breaking your doll or sneaking into your room; now I can shamelessly take you out shopping and bully you in exchange for your dazzling smiles and brightening laughs.

Yeah, let me confirm my statement. You have indeed grown up so much. And now, you need to be more thankful for everything that you have; nothing more than a damn good life with every single thing that comes along with it. I'm grateful to have such an amazing person to call a sister. Something I never truly have, but now I know that you are way better, and you'll do the job just fine! *winks*

So, yeah. I'll just cut to the chase and feel relieved that you'll always be older before me! *laughs*
Kidding kidding. You know I am. Right? Hahahahaha. =D

Happy Birthday, sis.

Friday, October 12, 2007

..i'm so happy that you're mine..

Currently listening to: Michael Buble - You're Always On My Mind

The results are out. And I am IMMENSELY HAPPY!!!!
*jumps around*

Omigod. It came as quite a shock. I passed all FOUR units! Gosh. I thought two of them were definitely doomed, but as it turns out, I passed everything.
Sooooooo relieved! Hahahaha. =D

God works in mysterious ways. And He is always good. No doubt about that.
Thank you, Lord. *smiles*

I will regard this success as something that will motivate me to work even harder in the upcoming trimester. Especially since everything is gonna get tougher, with more complicated subjects and more demanding hurdles.
I'm in for a rough road.

And so this means I've got some crazy celebration get-togethers in store! Gonna wait for friends to come back to Melbourne so that we can celebrate together!
Well, excluding expensive restaurants and high-class places, of course, if you know what I mean. *laughs*

Have a SPLENDID weekend, guys! *grins*

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

...it's not so easy...

Random titles suit my mood. As always.

It's funny how my random-playing-set music player always seems to understand me everytime I sit by my laptop, thinking through, typing on, then realizing that mind-speaking songs come and go as moods change and stay. Hence the random blogpost titles. I hope I'm not violating any established copyrights or whatever other legal stuff that apply when I use those fragments.

I took my time and went to the city today to take care of stuff. The weather was quite nice, despite the slightly-dry air and the rare extra-sunniness that somehow reminded me of dear J-Town. Visited the Indonesian consulate general to submit my address-change application which took quite some time to get through 'cuz I arrived there during the lunch break period so I had to wait for all the staff to come back from God knows where before I could do what I was supposed to do.

Being-a-good-citizen-related matters checked. Then I had lunch at Don-Don's [Japanese food, my fave! *winks*] before heading to the Singapore Airlines' Melbourne representative to ask about my go-home *yay!* ticket. It was quite a revelation to walk along Collins St. and realize that the street is REALLY long. I was tempted to just cross the road and hijack a passing tram *flashes an evil smirk* halfway through to the office since it took like almost forever just to walk and walk and walk along the street before I could finally reach the far-far-away place.

Coincidentally, I stumbled across some Indonesians in the office who somehow kept looking at me with weird stares as I rummaged into my bag looking for my ticket and sat silently waiting for my queue number to be displayed on the screen.
Shortly after that, I found out that the date-change for my return flight hasn't come through the waiting list yet. Disappointed, yes, but I can't do anything but wait. *sighs*

Well yeah. Walking there was fun anyways. Some good sport for my lazy legs *laughs*. But still I decided to take a tram on the way back to Swanston St. just to save time. A little bit of afternoon rain poured reluctantly, as I made my way around the city wandering aimlessly, stopping here and there, visiting The Body Shop [another favorite store] for a little shopping-spree, before deciding to go home.

So basically that made my day.
And now I am here, still mourning for the incurably-slow Internet connection *sighs* and hoping that tomorrow I won't oversleep. The mentoring program starts at 8 a.m. sharp, which reads definite 6.30-ish out of bed for me. So, yeah. Gotta sleep early! *grins*

Another week has gone halfway through. My parents are going on vacation tonight, my uncle has arrived in Melbourne already, and Neja's birthday is coming in like three days.

Geez, time sure does fly!!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

...about today...


Here I am, typing away, after draining two well-earned cups of steaming hot coffee, listening to my hero Michael Buble's sweet-loving swings, and doing a few of my usual morning-blogwalking sessions. Better mood, better thoughts, better things to say now. The still-crappy-internet-connection is no longer bothering me, though sometimes it still gets annoying and extremely bugging. As for the sick spoiled bitch I'd been cursing, don't ask. She's there, alive and kicking, and most probably clueless.

Please proceed to read the previous post following this one if you have time, guys.
'Cuz I want you all to understand what was going on last night. *sighs*

I was reading Sylv's latest blogpost just now, and I realized that she was talking about things that are somehow connected to the matter I was discussing.

Sometimes people just don't know how to be thankful of their good lives and keep complaining, asking selfishly for more. People, including me. Sometimes I grudge and get bitter when looking at my life, as if something unknown were missing from me and I have to find it in order to be complete. While in fact that is not always true.

People have to learn how to be grateful and give continual thanks for everything that has happened in their lives. Good, or bad. Instead of complaining and being disrespectful all the time. Grudges eat you up from the inside, and envy kills you faster than drugs.

Like Mya said, life is simple, if you wanna make things simple for you to live with.

This is when high school memories kick in and put me into some revealing realization that life is indeed harder when you're totally out of your comfort zone. I know I am a total mellow-jellow bitch when it comes to memories, but yeah, it's true. Thanks be to ReRe for reminding me once again that we were all happy then, not so much now.

I have to get used to live in this kind of environment. Like it or not, there's always a reason for everything. And I believe in that.

Lord help me.

Monday, October 08, 2007

...my mind's unweaving...

I hate backstabbers. I hate spoiled bitches.
I do. I really REALLY do.

And I HATE you. I hate you, and everything else that comes along with you.

I hate the way you can talk sweet and nice in front of me, sucking up to me, act all little-miss-perfect-and-spoiled-and-omigosh-i-love-Chanel-y in front of my disgusted face, all the way while I was trying so fucking hard to keep calm and stay respectful to you.

I hate everything about your style, even from the very beginning before I got to know you and get trapped in all this crap. I dislike your fashion sense. I completely disapprove of how you carelessly spend your money on expensive stuff you don't even need. I hate your tone. I hate your voice. I resent your i'm-daddy's-rich-little-girl attitude. I even HATE taking part in celebrating your birthday at an immensely-out-of-place restaurant and having bought you thoughtful presents to the very, VERY fullest of what I am.

I hate the way you talk to your only two loyal friends. I hate the way you behave like a stupid, brainless princess with no life and no hope for the future. I hate the way you regard yourself so highly that you don't need to respect people and don't think of them as being worthy of your presence. I hate the way you look at me, and my friends, with that arrogant stares flaring up in your eyes everytime you do so. I hate the way you interact with people, the way you talk about them, the way you constantly fuck up your own life refusing to grow up and be realistic about it. I hate you, every single thing about you.

But in spite of all that crap, I still tried to get by and TRIED to be a good friend.
I did, okay? Don't you ever say I never tried.

In case you haven't noticed, my FRIEND, I've done every single thing that I could, my FRIEND, to keep you happy and be your FRIEND. Your fucking goddamn FRIEND, fgs. I've emphasized on the word FRIEND way too much it doesn't even sound right anymore.

And, surprise surprise! How do you treat me?

All this time, all you can think about is how to diss and swear and exaggerate and speak bad things behind my innocent, all-pounded-up and tired back of pride. I've realized now that you have never treated me as your goddamn friend; you expect me to follow your stupid rules and live in your nonsense fairytale of a life. You want me to dress up like you and talk about bimbotic stuff -- aha! your favorite, getting bimboish and the like-- and buy stuff that you usually do and act like similarly-spoiled brats with neverending cash.

Well, I can't do that. Got it? And I'm SICK of it. I'm SICK of YOU.

You never appreciate me, and everything that I have done for you. Neither have you appreciated all those good things that your friends had done and given to you, all in the name of trying to make you happy, so far.
Is this fair, I may ask?

Seriously. I was foolish to have gone way too deep into this mess.
You are not worthy of my tears. You are not worthy of my care. Not even worthy of my thoughts. AT ALL.

And silly me for thinking that we could actually remain friends as it is.
I was wrong. I will never be able to respect you the way I tried to. I resent you. I reproach you. I HATE YOU, HATE YOU, HATE YOU, for all that I am worth.

There. At least I am being frank with this.
I don't backstab people when I don't like them. I get right on their hypocritical faces and slap them straight.

Tell me things. Call me names. But don't ever dare say that I wrote all those things without enough proof to justify them. 'Cuz I do. Try me.
Poor poor missy. You should be utterly ashamed of yourself.

Trust me, this is not gonna work. Definitely.

Eventually, you'll get up one day and realize that all you've got is your stuff, and they're all empty. And cold. And lifeless. And hollow.

And when you do, will you then still think of true friends as a joke?

I doubt it.

Like I said. I HATE you. I HATE everything that comes along with you.

And, even more than I do, now I feel terribly SORRY for you.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

...about the new season...

Breaking news, guys.

I just watched the massively-awaited season premiere of the fourth season of Desperate Housewives.
Whew, can't believe I just used three sequential 'of's in that sentence. *sighs*

The housewives are BACK! And they are AMAZING as ever.

Yes, as I was just saying, I have watched the season premiere, and I LOVE it. Not gonna tell you where I watched it, 'cuz I'm quite sure I was breaking some minor rules when I did that, since the series hasn't hit the Australian TV channels yet and is not going to do so really soon, and actually the source provider of the clips, whoever that is, tried so hard to hide the clips from going public that much and risk immense suing, so yeah. I'm oversharing already here. Hahahaha. =D

Anyways. I can tell you, the season premiere is like thoroughly GREAT.

There are so much new information and shocking facts to give away; so many blossoming mysteries, so many unfolding conflicts, some newly-introduced intriguing characters, some existing-yet-equally-confusing storylines, and many other unexpected surprises, I believe, on the way.

I have read that there is a new writer joining the creative team this season; maybe he will manage to spice things up and give even more juiciness into the plot. Yet the essence of the show stays the same. It's tempting, and addictive. I can't wait to see more of this season!

Argh. Now I AM desperate. *sighs*

The premiere just triggered soooooo many questions raising in my head.
Too much information are out yet more secrets are still kept hidden from view.
Well, curiosity kills the cat, people say. And yeah it certainly is starting to kill me right now, if you know what I mean.

I'm waiting. I'm hoping. I'm kaypoh *ooops!* and eager to know.
And like the new tagline of the season says,

...It's a hell of a day in the neighborhood.

It sure is! *winks*
Surprise surprise!!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

...about sixties and hairspray...

My legs are sore, but I'm currently kinda happy. The weather was nice all day! Finally, some good sense of humor for moody Melbourne. *claps hands*

Went shopping yesterday. Bought a couple of things. And, I gotta tell you this, I bought the infamous Country Road bag! *winks* Been wanting to have one for like AGES, and the bag proves to be REALLY handy! It can fit everything, as in like EVERYTHING, inside 'cuz it's quite roomy, and it's fashionably hip as well so I can carry it everywhere with me. Fancy, huh? I'm glad I bought one. Hahahaha. =D

And, well, as it turned out, I watched the 2007 remake of "Hairspray" today with Sharlene and Andrew. And the movie was FABULOUS, to say the least. Musicals have always been my favorite to watch, yet this one is quite unique on its own.

I love the casts. I love the characters. I love the costumes. I love the dances. I love the songs. I love the scenes. I love Link and Tracy. And, of course, I love John Travolta. Then again, who wouldn't? =)

Oh, I am SO IN LOVE with the amazing sixties.
Although the era is obviously fashion-flawed, the culture was just so nice and classic. And also the way they swing! Omg. I can't even try to tell you how I ridiculously kept tapping my feet to go with the rhythm, itching all over to dance, and humming along all throughout the movie. 'Cuz like the songs were all good and jazzy and rock-roll-y and swing-y, and the singers were fantastic, and by the end of the movie I half-wished I had somehow been cast as part of the movie. *sighs*

Nikki Blonsky played her role perfectly well. Her smile is just dazzling! I believe her personality is still unflawed as well. And, as Sharlene was just mentioning to me, there will finally be a potentially-successful plus-sized actress. Let's just hope she stays on track.

Oh yeah, Zac Efron was okay too. Moderate acting, excessive charm, also quite lovable, despite the fact that the 60's hairdo he was sporting looked soooooooooooooooooooo oddly-misshapen on him. What's with the single curled fringe, dude? *laughs* Anyways, he's okay. Gotta work on those hollow stares, though. Yeah I know I complaint too much. He's already too damn successful in his own right to care about minor details I suppose.

Like I said, the castings are wonderful. Queen Latifah totally rocks! =D
Okay okay. Am turning into an annoying know-it-all critic right now. *slaps own face*

Anyways. Better go to sleep now then. Am gonna go sporting tomorrow so I need to be well-rested. And yeah. Got some major tidying-ups to do as well.

BVLGARI's BLV for Men is soooooooo nostalgically HOT!!!! I want I want! *sighs*
Leyi buy me buy me please!!! I hope you're reading this. Hahahaha. =D

Gawd I hope I WILL NOT overspend in this holiday. *sighs*