Sunday, December 30, 2007

...please make me feel complete...

Been experiencing a raging storm of mixed feelings these past few days.
Was happy, was angry, was mellow, was thankful, and worst of all I was also extremely pissed and lonely.

For me, life is like riding a rollercoaster.
Sometimes you yell, sometimes you scream. Sometimes you feel like you're on top on the world that you just wanna raise your hands and shout out to everybody about how happy and contented you are. There are times when you feel like an excited , wide-eyed child whose world is all about enjoying this ride with all its ups and downs. As naive and foolish as it may seem, you are actually happy this way. And sometimes you wish you could just stay that way, as playful as that child, forever.

Yet, there is a glimpse of sorrow lurking somewhere in the shadows; scary lowdowns, terrifying twists and sharp turns that gives one of those painful jolts to your heart, waking you up, slamming you back to reality. Times when even that child will cry, and shriek, and call out for company 'cuz he's too scared to bear continuing the ride alone.

I was slammed down. Hard. Face down, hitting the ground with a bang.
Realizing how pathetic, how gloomy, how indefinite, how insecure everything in front of me is going to be. I have nothing to hold on to. Abstractness, denial, everything falls into place and stops me dead.

I'm so sick of smiling empty smiles. Of nodding careless nods. Of laughing empty laughs. Of staring hollow stares. Of crying meaningless tears.
I want something real. Something honest. Something blatant and sweet, for me to share with the rest of the world, without fear.

I'm tired of living this painful lie.
I wish I could just scream. And shout. Like that happy little boy on the rollercoaster, who does nothing else than being honest to himself. And to everybody else that hears.

That's my wild thought for today.
Have a good night.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

...about another christmas...

So, this year's Christmas went by so quickly for me. I was in Bandung for three days, shopping and slacking and eating and meeting like a zillion people.

Bandung was fun. I always love the atmosphere of this friendly and classic town. Not to mention the soft-speaking locales and the always sweet-sounding Sundanese accent in their tone of speech. I really had a good time getting closer with nature, and everything else that comes along with visiting this town.

But hey, I actually enjoyed all the well-earned retail therapy, the pampering, the food hunting and even the post-crazy-eating-spree stomach cramps which still bothers me even now. Damn not-so-hygienic Indo food, messes up with my digestive system. *sighs*

Anyways. Here are some pictures taken during my trip to Bandung.

Back to Nature!
Location: Saung Sawah Restaurant, Ciwidey

Kawah Putih, Ciwidey
[Too bad it was foggy because of the rain]

Still in Kawah Putih, Ciwidey. Don't I look good in that brown jacket? *winks*

Driving through Pasir Kaliki Street, one of the busiest streets in Bandung

Well. Sorry I can't write much. Thing is, my stomach is cramping ruthlessly and I can't seem to shake of the fear of having some sort of acute illness like typhoid or something haunting me. I need to see a doctor. Fast. Before I dehydrate due to excessive body fluid outflow. *shakes head*

Oh yeah, FYI, I'm going back to Melbourne in about ten days.
Geez. Time sure does fly!

Happy holidays, guys! =)

Saturday, December 22, 2007

...let your heart be light...

Currently listening to: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Christina Aguilera

West Gate, Puri Indah Mall, December 21, 2007

It's DARK outside. As in grayish-and-gloomy sort of dark.

I got a feeling that the rain is gonna come pouring down hard any minute. Scratch that. The rain IS pouring down right now as I speak. Seems like the weather's been awfully sweet this past week, though scary water puddles reminiscent of floods are already starting to form on the sides of some major J-Town roads.

Another day. Another yay. I should stop worrying too much and stay happy.

Took my time to lounge in the super-cozy Starbucks Puri Indah yesterday. Finally. And I got a chance to observe the differentiated batches of West Jakartans who frequent this small yet sweet classic-themed [whatever] shopping mall. Since this mall is somewhat so localized, I got to see a lot of familiar faces all around me. Nothing has changed much in the past six months when I was away; even the afternoon-rostered baristas in Starbucks stayed the same.

Come to think of it. Truth be told, Mall Puri Indah is so awfully localized that even its customer types are familiarly patternized. Based on my observation yesterday afternoon, I can conclude and divide the frequenters of the mall into FOUR general categories. Trust me, if you visit Mall Puri Indah as often as I do, or at least used to do, then you'll notice that all four group categories are always omnipresent and existing at all times during shopping hours, even on weekdays, all year long. *laughs*

So, here goes.

Category One: Common West Jakartan Teenagers with color shirts, short pants, clutched-on cellphones, and sandals.

This major group contribute to about 60 percent of the whole population of customers. West Jakartan youth are informally known for their casual uniformity when it comes to regional clothing style. Shirts, shorties, on-hand cellphones, sandals, sometimes aided by rubber message wristbands or postman bags, all in matching colors. Well this is how I used to dress like when I was a confirmed West-Jakartan geek. In fact, I returned to the conformity and dressed this way yesterday, with some minor modifications, for the sake of remembering; something I had so long ago been disposed of, sadly. *sighs*

But, yeah. This type of happy-go-lucky teenagers call Mall Puri Indah their unofficial HQ. That includes the old seventeen-year-old me, of course. *winks* They can be often seen gathering in clusters somewhere around the food court, wandering around in the ever-so-comfy Gramedia, or sitting noisily chattering away in Starbucks. They address people with "Oi!"s and "Eh! Gila, pa kabar lo?"s and "Najis lo nyet!"s all spoken in a certain tone only they can pronounce.

I just love seeing them, listening to their sandal soles brushing on the ceramic floor, even looking a bit like them for once. This way I feel young again. *slaps myself*

Alright. Moving on...

Category Two: Your Average Kind of Bored, No-Work-All-Kids Housewives

This customer group is at its peak of numbers during idle afternoon hours. Plenty! They usually wander around, sometimes running errands, sometimes just hanging out with fellow housewives, waiting for the time to pick up their kids from school which never seems too early or too late a time.

Some typical traits? Casual shirts. Jeans. Untidy. dyed or highlighted hair. Ever-present cellphone. Common sling-bags, preferably branded ones. Ring any bells? *laughs*

Well my beloved Auntie Ling is one of them, surely. I was referring to her, and her chatty friends all the way through. *grins*

Category Three: Typical Slack-offs or People on Holiday With Nothing Too Frikkin' Much Time to Spend *points at myself*

Not much detail. These people mostly dress up a bit like people from Category One, only more sophisticatedly so. *blinks* This group consists of people in their early or nearing twenties, currently back from abroad to spend holidays here *points at myself again*, or even Uni people here also on holiday with nothing to do after semester exams.

These people can be easily recognized by their usually more-casual tone of speech, occasional English blurt-outs, and of course new-and-improved West Jakartan style. They address people with "Haaaaaaiiii!!"s and "Ya ampun boooo lo beda banget sekarang!"s and "Anjrit kmana aja lo?!"s complete with screechy laughs and a cigarette or two.

Some come with laptops or PDAs in their hands, some with catchy sunnies, some with nothing at all. But by judging from the happy looks on their faces, I can tell that the pressure of J-Town doesn't get to them. At least not anymore. And they should be proud of that.

Finally, last but not least...

Category Four: Families!!

Either with or without over-active kids, with or without uncomfortable-looking ashamed pre-teens, with or without fully-occupied babysitters, with or without grandparents and elders, even with our without parents. Whilst the concept of family mall is so out of the picture for Mall Puri Indah, it is still unavoidable to witness families lurking around each and every corner of the place. Most come to eat, others come merely to kill time with the excuse of 'having quality time'.

Yet it always warms my heart to see kids holding hands with their parents, while smiling and yelling and exchanging contented glances with each other. Reminds me of the faded peacefulness of local West Jakartan areas I had apparently forgotten. Despite all the flood and all the drama surrounding this area, its people are still happy, and that's what is most important.

You think so? *smiles*

Well enough of this super-dismissable analysis. I already start to sound like a real freak.

Gash. I need to start revising. My textbooks are already yelling from the inside of my neglected Country Road bag. It's about time, perhaps.

And I'll be away to Bandung tomorrow for three days to spend Christmas day there, by the way. I smell some serious shopping spree. And endless eating! *laughs*
So, given the chance to yell out the greetings right now...


JJ's happy as he can ever be. And he wishes his blog readers this equal sense of happiness, if not more, in this very best time of year.

Have a BLESSED holiday season, guys!! *hugs*
Luvyah all. =)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

...the best time of the year...

Currently listening to: Christmas Time - Backstreet Boys

Now THAT is how Christmas decorations are supposed to look like.
I always admire Mall Taman Anggrek for its breakhthrough themes and decorations each Christmas time, every year.

It's raining gently outside now. Beatifully so. And suddenly I feel mellow.
Remembering all the things I used to do when the gorgeous December rain came knocking on my windows during those long-gone days of my high-school melodrama of a life.

It's during rainy days like this that I can finally sit back and think over my life a little bit. How days go by so quickly I don't even have the chance to make moments last a little while longer than a flash. Nearly a week has gone by since I arrived back in this town, in a blink of an eye, yet I'm still here, trying to race with time, fighting a losing battle with Destiny, picking up the pieces, lagging so far behind...

Sometimes I feel like my life is just like one big race, with no breaks in between to let me catch my breath. Is it my fault that I suffocate and faint, and beg to quit every once in a while?

The same feeling got all over me when I came to watch the Smukie Christmas celebration yesterday; I met a BUNCH of old friends, hugged people, high-fived people, shook hands with teachers, got a chance to mingle with Smukiez Choir, you know, stuff like that. I was happy, to say the least; seeing all those smiling faces again really made my day.

But then, as today I sit and ponder, rewinding the happy moments yesterday and recalling those faces, I start to look back, and remember. I still have loads of unanswered questions, unfinished business, unaccomplished goals, which are yet to be fulfilled. Meeting those people once again remind me of these longings, these things.

I miss my life here. During Christmas time, with friends, and loved ones.

Geez. I should stop here. I don't wanna spill my guts and break down right now.
I don't want the beautiful rain to catch me crying.

Happy rainy day, guys. =]

Monday, December 17, 2007

...about being back home...

Currently listening to: Home - Daughtry

Oh my GOD.
I can't believe I'm finally, FINALLY home.

Ugly worn-out airport. Hungry-eyed suspicious people. Extra-thick layers of pollution. Annoying shrieks, even-more-annoying street yells. Worse traffic, more cars, endless Busway constructions everywhere. Crazy jams. Ignorant as ever people. Sucky hot humid weather. Unpredictable rainfalls. Super-slow Internet connection. Along with other painful stuff I can't even bear to share here.

J-Town hasn't changed much. Or has it, truly?
Yet still, it's only J-Town. And, as Leyi puts in just now, this is HOME.

I've been EATING endlessly like a starved pig these past two days. Dunno why, but I just can't seem to resist all the temptingly good food on display within my sight range. Bye bye calories. Let me worry about being healthy when I'm back in Melbourne; for now I wanna enjoy my extra-short holiday here to the most.

This metropolis reminds me of so many things. Old memories; good ones, bad ones, special ones. Old friends; close ones, colleagues, pals, besties. Reminds me of the childish, naive, super-busy town-boy I once was. And most of all, this is the town where I grew up and became the person I am today. So I guess I gotta stop whining and be grateful that I'm still given the chance to visit this town and reminisce the good ol' days of surviving life here.

And it's not like I'm not missing Melbourne. But I know that I have the next two and a half years. maybe more, to spend there, but only some couple more days to be here.

So, COME ON PEOPLE!! We gotta meet up!
Can't describe to y'all just how excited I am now. Got like a ZILLION appointments with old friends and I really want to make these will-be-happily-busy days last forever.

JJ's home. And boy is he HAPPY.
Alrighty catch ya later guys! *hugs*

Saturday, December 15, 2007


Hey y'all! It's awfully early and I'm tired as hell, but I feel like I gotta share some updates.
Well guess what? I'm already in Singapore Changi Airport, people!!

Alright let's stop the superhappiness before I start jumping around like a madman in the middle of the airport. *laughs*

Anyways. Yeah, the seven-and-a-half-hour flight was good and smooth, as usual. Managed to get a couple hours of sleep and watched some good movies on board. Now I'm waiting for my next flight to Jakarta which is still like three hours away in this magnificent airport in the middle of the tiny red dot land commonly known as Singapore, and I have exactly NOTHING to do.

Thank God they have free Internet service here.
At least I can delay my no-civilization oath for a good couple more hours. *winks*

Alright then catch ya later guys!
Hopefully I can be in touch again when I'm FINALLY safe and sound in J-Town.

Friday, December 14, 2007

...a million miles away from here...

Currently listening to: Counting Down The Days - Natalie Imbruglia

Just so y'all know, I lost my frikkin' glasses this afternoon and right now I'm typing without any sight-helping aid on, squinting my eyes with my lips nearly KISSING the monitor while feeling incredibly stupid, so forgive me if I sound a little pissed-off.
Well actually. Scratch that. I'm not even thinking of staying pissed off anymore. 'Cuz guess what? I'm GOING HOME!!

*jumps around in the background*

This has been nothing but GOD's amazing grace the whole way through. I can't believe that I managed to get that ticket and can even fly home EARLIER than I wanted to! Gosh. HE is amazing. Truly truly amazing. I can't describe just how thankful I am now. *sighs*

Yeah. I'm flying home in less than 24 hours. First flight in the morning, I suppose, before it's even bright and early. But it's good anyhow; that means I'll spend the whole night together with the amazing KrisWorld! *laughs*

Just finished stage one of quick-packing some couple of minutes ago, and now I'm hoping that my bags won't exceed the allowance limit. Since I'm carrying home all sorts of things, including Christmas gifts, Aussie souvenirs, textbooks *sighs*, clothes, and other crazy stuff you don't even wanna hear about. But I'm only gonna be bringing with me a small luggage, a small traveling bag, and my lovely handy Country Road tote bag along with me. So I guess should be no problem right? Hope so hope so. *stares dreamily*

And since the Internet connection back home is surely gonna be UBER-SLOW, as Ian puts in, I will most certainly be online-civilization-deprived for about two and a half weeks, before I will be flying back to Melbourne again next year *shakes head*. So, yeah. I will try to keep in touch and update this blog while I'm home, but no quick updates, okay? Just wanna make sure that we're all under the same state of mind for that point.

Can't wait can't wait CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME!!!
*jumps around again*

I promise you guys I'll be having a GREAT time in J-Town!!
So catch y'all later. Hopefully real soon.

Luvyah. =)

Monday, December 10, 2007 eve will find me...

Currently listening to: My Only Wish This Year - Britney Spears

Just finished my Business Law Assignment *yay!* this morning bright and early, and now I feel like passing out on my bed until like Thursday morning or something.

Seriously. I have never come across a more lethal, suicide-triggering pain-in-the-arse subject before in my entire life. And I thought I WAS suicidal. *shakes head*

Oh by the way. Moving on to my bitching of the day...
Personally, I think that in terms of Christmas decorations, dear ol' Melbourne sucks. As in SLACKING. Big time.

Like, say if there was a worldwide competition that wants to determine which city has the best, most creative, and most stunning Christmas decorations up out-and-about at this time of year and actually rank all those decorated cities in order, I'm pretty damn sure that Melbourne would definitely lag on the ranks. Severely. Somehow it pains me, and I'm not even emo for heaven's sake. *sighs*

Even J-Town, regardless of how drenched and wet and occasionally flooded it often will be around Christmas time, could possibly look more decently Christmas-y if it wants to.

I mean, look. What's the point of starting early if you guys don't maintain the progress and in the end lack behind? I remember that the first pioneer glimpses of Christmas were put up in the city area as early as mid-November, and then I thought it was gonna be like merry and GRAND when December finally arrived. Turns out that my hopes were kept a little bit too high. Or at least I think I did.

Oh well. At least people are TRYING to keep up with the pace.
Here are some snapshots of Melbournian Christmas I took when I went to the city to start shopping for Christmas gifts last Saturday.

Here's that solo HUGE Christmas tree in front of the Westin Hotel, along Swanston Street, that strangely reminds me of that beautiful, equally-if-not-more HUGE Christmas tree in Mall Taman Anggrek back home. *sighs*

In Australia, Christmas means Summer; that's probably why snow-like ornaments are so rarely seen as part of the decorations. Stars, leaves, and flowers are used instead, just like those endless lines of stars hung nicely all the way above and along Bourke Street.

There's another deserted-and-out-of-place-looking Christmas tree standing in the very center of QV Square. It breaks my heart seeing that tree, I dunno why. I sure hope they will put up some frikkin' supporting decorations around that tree or they might as well just bring that lonely thing back down for the sake of aesthetics.

This tree above just caught my eye when I was waiting for the 900 bus on my way home. I'm intrigued by the way the wrap that Seasons Greetings cardboard around that tree and then have the guts to call that a decoration. Well, no pun intended. It looks kinda cute anyways. Good effort for by the City of Monash! *laughs*

So, guys. Whaddayathink?

And oh yeah, for the sake of emphasizing self-proclamation, here goes the last picture of us ex-Smukiers posing together in front of the HUGE Westin Hotel Christmas tree thing. *winks*

*looks at picture with dreamy stares*

Alright I'll just hop on to bed and actually TRY to have a good rest.
Considering it's four days away to home and I can barely contain the excitement.

Have a BLESSED Christmas week everyone!!
Catchyalater. *hugs*

Thursday, December 06, 2007's christmas time in the city...

Currently listening to: Silver Bells - Clay Aiken & Kimberley Locke

I'm still trying to cope with the fact that Aussies down undahh celebrate Christmas time during Summer. Getting used to it just fine, yeah, but still I find it hard NOT to get jealous when my friends up high in the States are experiencing constant SNOWY PERIODS right about now. *sobs quietly*

Whatever. I'm still thankful that Christmas time is here, finally. The decorations are up, along with those usual bright-red-and-green-everywhere color invasion. And because it is Summer, people are out more often, so it actually must be quite fun celebrating Christmas in the heat for once. Alright. I should just stop complaining. *smiles*

Today's weather has been AWESOME so far. Thirty-two degrees, tops. And the breezes are just too cozy.

Reminds me of those Japanese anime series and mangas I used to craze about all the way through my preteen years, where Summer there is depicted by long holidays, endlessly intense heat, minimal clothes n maximum style, fun trips to rural areas visiting relatives (most typically grandparents and the like), and of course noisy sounds of buzzing Summer insects all around.

I mean, omigod. Seriously, I love love LOVE this kind of Summer.
Now I know why those Japanese anime and manga creators make Summer scenes their favorites. Despite the sometimes unbearable heat and the constant feeling of dehydrating that haunts you each and everyday, Summer days are actually beautiful in their own ways.

You guys think so? Maybe not.
Most Asians I know are not particularly fond of Summer. Well except quite a few. I'm NOT particularly fond of Summer, in general. I don't know what's gotten into me today. The heat, perhaps?

Or maybe I'm just being plain random, like I always am. Yeah that's more like it. Hahaha.

So, like my current Facebook shoutout, I am sooooooo totally feeling the Summer heat. At least for today.

Monday, December 03, 2007's been raining since you went away...

I have just understood the whole reason behind having an accurate, up-to-date daily weather forecast system published on the net and updated every half a day or so. Especially when you live in a city with ever-changing weather conditions like dear ol' Melbourne. Thank God the Australian government is thoughtful, and technologically-equipped. *laughs*

I still vividly remember going to bed last night after kicking aside the usual warm-and-handy covers, trying to cope with the dryness by opening my windows wide and keeping the box fan on. Fast forward a couple hours, and I woke up this morning frantically searching for my covers, shivering due to the sudden presence of the cold, welcomingly-humid air that the morning shower brought to the area.

It was around eight, the rain didn't show any signs of ceasing down any time soon, and there was ABSOLUTELY no way that I would be able to walk through the rain without getting totally drenched along the way, not to mention looking like a soaked cat when I reached college, so I decided to sleep in. *yawns*

Not bad, not bad at all! Considering the weather was all cool and wet and comfy. I've missed the familiar mild scent of rain-washed grass a little bit too much, I guess.

And the rain didn't stop the whole day. I had to fight my way through the strong wind walking to college to attend the afternoon tutorial, and halfway through the tute a rainstorm started thundering noisily outside, scaring the shit outta me. But in the end it was all good. It is very breezy outside as I sit down typing this post, with the birds chirping and the fresh winds blowing. I call this HEAVEN. *sighs*

Oh yeah. I took a couple of pictures of the beautiful backyard at my house just now, right after the rain stopped pouring.

My landlord likes to garden, so during mid-Spring around last month, the backyard was full of beautiful colorful flowers! There was one big bush of red roses that were just GORGEOUS! It was right in front of Andrew's window so his room used to smell like roses everyday during Spring. Hahaha.

Too bad most of the flowers have withered now. Summer's tough this year, and the plants tend to die down quicker than they are supposed to. Oh well. Still smells good outside, though. Some mysterious purple flowers have just blossomed yesterday near my window, so it gets really sweet-smelling everytime I slide open my window now.

And haven't I told you that we have a dog in the house?
Say hello to Clumsy!

Isn't she just ADORABLE? *smiles*

She's actually a playful nine-year-old Yellow Labrador Retriever with a very good sense of humor. Hahaha. But seriously, she's the friendliest, and snuggliest, dog I know! I don't know how it all started, but now she's really close to me somehow, and for some unknown reasons she always likes to nibble my feet, sniff my clothes, and lick my face. Well not that I mind anyway. I love her to bits. *winks at Clumsy*

So, yeah. I was playing with her after taking my time out and about in the backyard, breathing in the post-rain fresh air, and she was not being her usual superhappy-Clumsy self today. She just approached me, did a little bit of her habitual sniffy-sniffy action, then just sat on the grass waiting for me to pat her or something. So I decided to make her chase me around and take some adorable pictures of her using my cellphone.

At this kind of time I am thankful that I'm living in the suburbs.
Despite the quietness and the remote peacefulness of life around here, at least this way I'm closer to the ground. Closer to the green green grass. Closer to nature and its wonderful creatures.

Maybe I should start hugging a tree everyday? *slaps myself*

Just another ordinary day in the amazing life of JJ.
I hope your day has been equally awesome, wherever you guys are.

Happy rainy day, everyone!! *winks*

Saturday, December 01, 2007's not over tonight...

Currently listening to: Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5

Yesterday I set a whole new record for myself, and my less-than-impressive academic life.

So here's the thing.
I worked on my overrated Buyer Behavior essay for like, what, almost 12 hours in a row? I basically camped at David's unoccupied room at our Stockdale HQ all night long, basking in the extra-fast Internet connection there and thanking Ko Bagas for the generous 'ride', in lack of a better word. *bows down*

Yeah. Some 12 hours of working, and working, and working. With a brief McDonald's pit stop in between, btw, but that didn't help much considering the state of extreme panic I was in. Don't have the exact hour calculation, though, but yeah that should give y'all a good enough picture of how I'd worked my arse off all the way Thursday night till Friday morning.

In the end, I completed the bloody essay, AND the reference list, AND the appendix pages, AND the mainly-random-copy-and-paste abstract, at about FIVE TWENTY in the morning. Had a chance to look out the window and realized that the sun was almost rising right there and then. Then I stopped and it came to me that yes it was Summer, and of course the sun rises early, you sleep-lacking dumbhead! So, yeah. *sighs*

Then I tidied up, cleaned up a bit, sneaked out of the house, and walked home feeling somehow triumphant. By the time I reached home it was already around 6-ish, and the morning sun was KILLING me. It was really, REALLY weird walking home during sunrise, since I felt like with each step that I took, the sun went up a little bit higher, and when I finally got home it suddenly felt like it was already noon. *slaps own face* But then again I was awfully sleep-deprived at that time so there was a possibility that I was already half-dreaming when making my way back home.

The end of the adventure?
I rushed into my room, threw all my stuff randomly, put my laptop on the table, ran outside to the sink to wash face, changed clothes, yawned a little, set the alarm, jumped into bed, opened the windows a bit to let the fresh morning air in, then went straight to Dreamland. Work done, sleep done, I submitted my assignment at 2 pm in the afternoon with a satisfied YAY, hoping at least I'd get a supposedly well-deserved Distinction for this mess. *winks*

Too much for a 15%-of-total-mark-worth assignment, yeah?
That's what ALL my friends were telling me the whole way through. But despite all that work, I am actually proud of myself now.

I mean, geez, never in my life had I committed this much effort into any academic work before. And when I say never i sincerely mean NEVER. So this must be quite an achievement for me. At least, self-actualization-need-ly speaking. *laughs*

Thanks to Ko Bagas for letting me camp in Stockdale HQ. *wipes tears off eyes*
Thanks to David for kindly lending me his room, although he's away in Surabaya.
Thanks to Andrew and John Lie for the assistance and everything else.
Thanks to Adeline, Lina, and my old friends for the cheering chat windows.
Thanks to Jacelyn, Ian, Asha, Fanny, Ivy, Hahn, Feby, and everybody else in my Marketing 2 tute for sharing the same burden and dreading the same deadline I had. *laughs*
And, thanks for my lovely tutor Hassnain for the HUGE HUGE help and assistance. Wouldn't have done it correctly if I hadn't seen you in advance! *smiles*

And in the end, I thank The Big Guy Up There, as always, endlessly, solemnly, faithfully.

At least now I can enjoy my well-earned weekend in peace.

The countdown is sooooooooooooooo ON, people. *laughs*

Alright then take care 'k?
Have a FABULOUS Summer weekend! =D

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

...i've always been a dreamer...

Currently listening to: Sway - The Perishers

I feel like I've been living consciously in a voluntarily anti-fun, happiness-repelling cage for my state of mind during these past few days. My nights are filled with endless research for my Buyer Behavior essay which is due like THIS FRIDAY, while the rest of those days are basically as hectic, what with all those useless morning-till-noon classes I have to attend.

Once this is done and over with, I still have a Business Stats mini test next Tuesday, another Business Law assignment due in week 8, and a potential Macroeconomics group work somewhere in between before I can finally fly back home with an illusion of temporary peacefulness conquering my heart [and head] for mere three weeks.

Damn, college life is literally sucking the cheerful life out of me.
Can't wait to shrug this burden off my shoulders and celebrate Christmas back home.
As for the waiting pile of hardwork I gotta face straight after Christmas? I'll find a chance to worry about them all then. Not now, please. Got enough to deal with already thanks. *sighs*

This painfully reminds me of the good ol' days (again!! yeah I know this is getting typical) when smiles used to be genuine, hugs used to be warm, and tears used to be shared together to ease the pain and heartache. Cheesy high school problems, cheesy fights, cheesy childishness, cheesy everything. I strangely feel, though yeah this is inevitable and will eventually happen to everybody, that all those traits of adolescence seem to be slowly seeping out of my conscience day after day ever since I moved to Melbourne, and somehow, sometimes I just miss being a kiddo, if you know what I mean.

Sorry for being sappy all of a sudden, anyway.

But I miss them so much. *sobs*

...Well. By the way.
I was talking to Agnes the other day after watching a not-so-IQ-enhancing home movie about dragons and crazy snakes. She commented that my blogposts lately have been less than impressing, content-and-contextually speaking. Well I don't know about that, but I do feel that ever since I came here, I tend to take blogging for granted, using this media only as a way of expressing my current thoughts about random things. Free memory, some would say. I name it randomness. *laughs*

Whaddaya think, guys? =)

But, yeah, thanks a lot for the input, Nez! *grins* Maybe soon I will be able to get back to serious mood and blog about more important stuff. Soon. After the zillion stuff that I need to take care of are done and over with. Soon. VERY soon. *sighs*

Alright then I guess I should stop here. Wish me luck, 'kay? I kinda need lots and lots of luck to be able to finish this frikkin' essay and come out of this mess alive. Trust me. I need your prayers.
Have a great week guys!! =)

Sunday, November 25, 2007

...sunday morning blabbering...

Oh my God.

Like, seriously. Time for a confession.
Who the hell has been using the Internet connection in my house SO DAMN F**KIN' MUCH that the quota has been exceeded AGAIN this month??

I mean, D-DUH! I don't know what else to do to prevent this thing from happening.
The quota was upgraded, the network was password-secured, the usage [well individually-speaking, meaning my usage, of course] was so carefully watched that I obliged myself not to do any big downloads anymore except for a little bit of Youtube now, yet just now I checked the usage rate and the red-and-blue graphs evidently showed that the quota has been EXCEEDED. Again.

And I was like WHAT IN THE WORLD??

Since the network is now password-protected, logically no one will be able to steal the connection and use it, right? Or am I actually neighboring some freaky self-obsessed wireless-network-hacking nerd who just can't get enough with breaking through people's network and stealing the quota for themselves?

I'm really, REALLY sure that the people in my house didn't use the Internet THAT much.
I mean, after three consecutive months of this problem rising, we should've all known better, right? It's not like we're all super retarded too ignorant to care or whatever. We NEED this connection to work properly, okay. Like, school stuff, anyone?

Huff. This is like super weird. SUPER SUPER WEIRD.
I can't describe just how pissed I am now.

So, hey y'all. Anybody. Who's been using the wireless connection of 54 Koonawarra St illegally, please kindly come to your senses and spare us some compassion. Please?

Don't steal. I don't know how you guys do this, but if you ARE stealing, please please please STOP RIGHT NOW. It's a crime.

Seriously, find something else more decent and fruitful, and future-brightening to do to color your plain gray lives. It's not like being a nerd, an anti-social, and an Internet-quota-stealer, helps you in ANY way in real life.


Oh well. Enough with the cursing and yelling, JJ.
I guess I'll have to resort to slow web civilization for at least another week.


Friday, November 23, 2007

...please have snow...

Currently listening to: I'll Be Home For Christmas - Michael Buble

I'm strangely not in the mood to do ANYTHING right now.
Been browsing, Friendster-ing, Facebook-ing, yawning, texting, chatting, even musicplayer-ing this past hour aimlessly, not knowing what to do to kill this time.

I was chatting with Arlene yesterday, through the magic wonders of Windows Live Messenger as usual, talking about random things goofing around every now and then, when she suddenly mentioned that she came across one of my old poems which were all posted here in this blog during my so-called Great Personal Depression. Ring any bells, anyone?

For those people who have been reading this blog since years and years ago, you will all know that I originally wrote all my posts in Indonesian, and that at one point in my life I once experienced a period of trauma during which I stopped blogging and let my melancholy-side alter-ego take over. Hence the poems, and the extreme corniness of youthful supposed-to-be-poetic sonatas.

This is why I really, REALLY love this blog, you know. After more than three years of writing, with extreme ups-and-downs in between, I am able to realize just how my life has directed me through such a long, winding road to happiness. Or rather, how I have directed my life all these years to be able to turn out this way.

And when I look back and read through those painful poems, I am thankful that I was given the chance to get through that devastating moments of hardships. Those hurtful days taught me a lot of valuable lessons the hard way, making them sink in and stay. Then I know that I am so over that. And that I am happy now, and amazed, and grateful, thanks to those precious fragments of my past I will always treasure.

Wanna read those poems? Kindly click here.
Only Indonesian-speaking people will be able to understand what those poems are saying, though. Non-Indo ppl are also welcome to peek anyways! Hahahahaha. =D

By the way.
There was a huge spider in my house last night. Huge as in, HUGE. Like, REAL HUGE.

Andrew was brave enough to have got the guts to trap the spider inside a dustbin and cover it with his lecture notes [go figure, right? lecture notes vs huge spider *laughs*]. Then he texted our landlord, and this morning that spider was killed the traditional way. Well you know what I mean; a killing that involves stomping, a lot of cringes, and shoes. *laughs*

But, yeah. No kidding.
Just now Andrew gave me this Wikipedia link about that nasty spider, and I was like WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!

Turns out the spider was VENOMOUS. And not just venomous, but like totally, lethally poisonous.
I wonder where it came from, and how it ended up resting on the living room wall.
Read the article yourself, if you please. I'm terrified enough just typing this sh*t.

I can't help feeling this house is full of frikkin' useless BUGS. Omigosh.
Somebody help. *sobs*


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

...about winter-sick...

Sometimes I wish I could just make an appointment with Mother Earth and propose the idea of switching this wacky-tacky-all-upside-down climate state of dear Australia.

Was just watching HappySlip's latest Youtube video a couple of minutes ago. She was talking about Thanksgiving, which is like TOMORROW. For those who don't know, Thanksgiving Day is celebrated on November 22 in the States this year; from what I've known, the date changes every now and then. But, yeah. The point is that the holiday season is approaching fast in America. While down here, everything seems quite common, at least for the time being. Hotness and sunny days all over. Well except for that huge christmas-tree-looking thing in front of the Westin Hotel in the city area, of course. And Bourke Street. But that's about it.

I have never longed for a cold-and-freezing Christmas THIS badly my whole life. *sighs*

Oh yeah. Back to Thanksgiving.
Too bad Aussies don't have this kind of celebration. Or do they? I'm not sure, and honestly, I don't wanna know either. I mean, it's gonna look really ridiculous, don't you think, celebrating Thanksgiving in the middle of this funny HOT weather? With all the turkeys and hot food and all that. But then again I should just stop whining, who knows they do things differently here. My bad for being such a silly Americanized obsessive prat. But sometimes I still regret my decision for not continuing my study in the States. *sighs*

Well anyways.
It's been really rainy today. From the moment I woke up up till this point, the rain hasn't stopped pouring. Beautiful! The atmosphere has been FANTASTIC; these bits and pieces of rain feels like total heaven, after a few days of extreme dryness. I hope the drizzle stays for at least another week or so. This kind of peaceful soothing weather keeps my good mood in check. *laughs*

Hence the Mother-Earth-appointment-wish thingy I mentioned above.
I know it's just silly, but I can't help cursing the fact that the climate is all reversed here.
No white Christmas. No snow. No peace. No fireplace.

Reminds me of my happy childhood, when I used to travel to different countries during Christmas and celebrate the cold holiday season there. London. Paris. San Francisco. Even Beijing. I just wish Melbourne could have the same winter-y ambiance at this time of the year. *sighs*

Thank God I won't be here during Christmas, though. At least J-Town's humidity is still bearable, and it's gonna get all familiarly Christmas-y back home since I'll be celebrating with loved ones!! *grins*

Okay then. I guess I'll hop in the shower and get ready for the afternoon class now.
VIP Night is on at Chadstone, people! Talk about extreme shopping free, now. *laughs*

Alright then take care all! *hugs*

Monday, November 19, 2007

...and now i'm ready...

Currently listening to: Extraordinary - Mandy Moore

It has been a very tough, scorching hot day. *wipes sweat off forehead*

I'm practically MELTING now. As in a hot-hot-hot-i-need-a-frikkin'-cooler melting sort of way. Hell it was like 35 degrees *gasp!* this afternoon, and the sun was literally burning UV-powered holes through my shirt; even my sunnies weren't that much of a help. And the FLIES! Gash. I've never been a big fan of insects, but this is like waaaaaaaaaaaaayy beyond my poor insect-phobia expectations.

Thank God somebody had happened to be smart enough to have invented this crazy little thing of a savior called the sunscreen lotion.
But still. Keep this up for another month and I'll be having rashes and probably premature skin cancer all over my body.

Omigod. How horrific is that? *sighs*

Slackoff-mode on, studyfreak-mode VERY off for me now, at least until Wednesday's VIP night. A guy deserves his own relaxing time. For the time being.

24 days before J-Town! I'm soooooo DAMN excited! *jumps around*
G'day g'day mates! *winks*

Sunday, November 18, 2007

...about gratitude...

Another Sunday. Another wake-up-call. Another morning. Another drama.

A HUGE streak of gratitude is sweeping upon me as I'm typing this post.
Yesterday was a BLAST! "The Christmas Show" was fantastic. Thumbs up for the extraordinary people of IFGF Melbourne for putting up such an amazing show! *grins* I have never seen such amazing teamwork and support my whole life, honestly.

And I can't be any more thankful than I already am, having been given the opportunity to give what I can and sing in the show. It wasn't my doing; it was HIS own doing altogether. Thank you so much for all the support, the pat-on-the-backs, the smiles, the hugs, and the praises everybody's been giving me *blushes*. You all made my day, truly, and I'm really glad to be here, grateful and grinning, among you guys. *smiles sincerely*

Photos coming up soon, btw. Hahahaha.

Well now that the happy part is over, let's get back to real life, shall we?
My assignments have technically been abandoned these past few days. Gotta start working on them once again now, I guess, since two of them are due like TOMORROW MORNING.

Gosh. What am I doing here blogging anyways when I should've been reading stuff about negligence? *sighs* Oh well. Someone save me.

I miss my friends. I miss Clayton ppl. I miss iCare. I miss goofing around in our lovely markas a.k.a Stockdale house.

And, last but not least, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU!! *hugs*
Well you know who you are. Lm.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

...about the week...


My days have been so full of endless activities lately. Places to go, stuff to take care of, things to do, people to talk to. You know, the list goes on. I've barely had time to even breathe.

Just finished yet another day of mentoring for the new MUELC intake this afternoon. Got to meet new people, meet new helpers, assist with enrolling, yada yada yada. Well not that I'm complaining here; I actually do enjoy being a mentor. But maybe today is not a very good time to flash my pearly whites to everybody in reach and act all good-guy-good-mentor-good-Asian for like the WHOLE day. And the weather wasn't helping at all; the sunniness is killing me by the minute.

Premature skin cancer, anybody? *sighs*
As much as I love the city and the suburbs and the people and everything else that comes along with where I am now, I hate this frikkin' HOT Melbourne Summer to the deepest part of my heart. Bummer bummer.

David and MelMel have just left Melbourne for home; they're gonna be away for at least two and a half months. Good for them, I guess. *sighs* Yet I can't imagine how desperate and lonely my life in Melbourne's gonna be all Summer, what with close friends away and assignments piling and skin burning and exams coming. Yet another reason for me to resent this time of the year.

I still got a Business Stats assignments which is due TOMORROW. Add up another two equally-annoying assignments for Law and Macroecons which are due NEXT MONDAY. Still gotta practice hard for my upcoming performance this SATURDAY. And God, I haven't been feeling as if I am constantly running out of time ever since I left school.

I need more hours. I need more sleep. I need miracles. I need shades. I need HELP.

Ah, whatever.
Guess now I'm just gonna hop in bed, close my eyes, and pretend like I've got nothing to do till like next year or something.

Takecare people. *sobs*

Sunday, November 11, 2007


Gash. This hot weather is driving me crazy.
It's like, one moment the air is calm and the winds are all breezy and stuff. Fast forward a couple minutes, and your senses are in overdrive and your skin is burning. Damn cancer-causing over-tan-shading UV. *sighs*

Was just skimming through the weather forecast for next week, and from those sets of usually-accurate numbers I can painfully conclude that I'm in for a rough road. Hot-and-sizzling-weatherly speaking, of course. Sunnies on, short-sleeves out now.

By the way.
My first ever major singing gig in Melbourne will be happening next Saturday, November 17. I'm gonna be singing a song in a major event publicly-known as "The Christmas Show", held by IFGF GISI Melbourne. I'm gonna be singing "The Christmas Song", acoustic-style, and even now I'm starting to get cold-feet.

This is soooooooooooooo out of my comfort zone. Singing in public, abroad, in front of a wholly different audience. Australians, especially. Well I know the audience will most probably be a mixture of Indonesians and Australians, but still. I haven't grasped the vibe, haven't tried the venue, haven't checked out the field. I hope I will be able to familiarize myself with the surroundings before the event. *rolls eyes hopefully*

Yeah I know, you guys are probably thinking that it's a bit [you know, a LOT] too early for a merry Christmas celebration. That's what I originally thought as well. But after all, since everybody is going back home for Christmas, I knew that they chose the date to facilitate the needs of the many. So people can both celebrate with friends and go home peacefully.

Well not that it matters to me either way, since I'm gonna be staying here all Summer. *sighs* Let's just hope that I don't dehydrate and over-perspire myself to death in the process.

Anyways. Wish me luck guys!
Practices will be held throughout this week. I'm soooooo excited!
Finally, a chance to once again do the one single thing I love the most: singing! Yay! *laughs*

I'm giving my best. Let HIM do the rest.

Have a FABULOUS week, everyone! *hugs*

Saturday, November 10, 2007

...take my hand...

Currently listening to: Good Girl Gone Bad - Rihanna

Ah, nice.
I had just finished my occasional stretch-out-in-front-of-laptop ritual plus a little bit of adorable yawning *winks* some couple of minutes ago, then took my time to look at my desktop's signature barcode clock, and immediately realized that it was almost two in the morning right about NOW.

The sky is clear outside, and the stars are all beautifully scattered like glimmering gems in the middle of gloomy nothingness. Haven't I mentioned that stargazing, in a romantic sense, makes me a terrible softie? *sighs* Wrong time, wrong place. Slap me please.

Got nothing to do in this soon-to-be wee small hours of the morning, and since my biological clock is now basically all fucked-up up due to this freaky no-sleep syndrome that just won't go away, why don't I blog for a change? *winks* After all, midnight randomness sounds eerily familiar, not to mention fun, somehow.

I have now officially put "Blackout" to rest back on the rack, at least temporarily. Rihanna's "Good Girl Gone Bad" is playlist for this weekend. Thanks to Rex for kindly sharing the amazing '3 for $40' offer! *laughs*

And speaking of him, he's probably already back in J-Town by now.
I hope the first thing that greets him when he touched down is not the heat, the humidity, the pollution, not even the annoying airport officials whom you just wanna mess up with happily. No. I hope the new-and-improved traffic congestion says hello to him first. *laughs devilishly*
No no no Rex, I'm joking alright. Kinda. *slaps myself*

Sylv has just come out with her random-playlist music analysis. Should I come up with my own list? *winks* Been wanting to do that for ages but didn't have the right moment to do so. Well maybe later.

These painful sleepless nights are already eating up the sober part of my conscience.
Sugar, coffee, and Eclipse are the three main factors which contribute to me being able to stay awake for most of the day. The rest is just willingness, and a little bit of sense. *sighs desperately*

Can somebody tell me how to regain the attractiveness of my pillows and revive the welcoming aura of my blanket?

And by the way, where am I going with this post?

I'm sure I have just taken the word 'randomness' to a whole new meaning.
Now I sound like an awfully drunk perv.
Maybe I should stop before anybody gets me wrong and has the chance to sue me for an act of negligent misstatement.

Have a great weekend. *scratches head*

Tuesday, November 06, 2007


*claps furiously*

No words can describe just how PROUD I am of them all.
I miss singing with them. I miss having fun with them. I terribly miss being one of them.

Been listening to some old recordings of our past performances; those songs brought tears to my eyes as I sat and listened. Memories unwound, moments flashed back. Can't believe that treasured years have gone by so quickly.

Oh well.
Congratulations, guys!!
You know you deserve this achievement. Strive for greatness, and never stop fighting! Singing is a priceless gift; make the most out of it to please HIM solely.

Forever you guys are always the BEST!!!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

...never leave me alone...

Just finished watching the clip of Spice Girls' brand new music video for their comeback single titled "Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)". It's weird, actually, realizing that it has been years since they parted ways and shocked the world with their sudden unanticipated farewell. Well I have never been a huge fan of them, yet I grew up in the 90's, so yeah. It was kinda unavoidable, really. *grins*

Err, honestly, I kinda like the song. A typical SpiceGirl-ish ballad, and the chorus is just simply catchy. The video itself is not much of an achievement, though, despite its supposedly high budget; looks like as though the girls are individually trying to make themselves stand out from the others, what with all those posing and show-offs and close-ups and stuff. Well not that I can complain anyway. They're GREAT as a group, no doubt about that. Yet after so many years apart their big egos can clash at times. Totally understandable.

And it's just unbelievable to see all five with their new looks. No longer sporting cheesy outfits and exhibiting the notorious "Girl Power" attitude, they're all grown-up women now. It suddenly feels like their reunion is just a chance to get together for one final time and reminisce about the good ol' days.

Will they be visiting Melbourne in their world tour? Guess not. *sighs*

In the meantime, if you guys wanna watch the video, please click here.

"...Let’s make the headlines, loud and true
I wanna tell the world I’m giving it all to you
Let’s make the headlines, loud and clear
The best things suddenly happen when you are here...
And if I lost my way you’d carry me home
Take me all the way to heaven, never leave me alone
And it’s just like everything matters when you are near..."

Oh no. I'm starting to get all nostalgic now.
Whatever. Happy weekend guys!! *winks*

Thursday, November 01, 2007


Blackout-craze day five. Finally managed to get the three Japanese bonus tracks which pitifully didn't make it to the worldwide tracklisting of the album. *jumps around happily*

Was talking to MelMel about various accents and abroad-born Asians while waiting for the 703 bus at Clayton Road bus stop, and realized that I don't sound like I did anymore when speaking English. This is not the first time anybody makes an effort to point this out to me; Adeline once mentioned that I change tones when speaking with different people with different backgrounds and, of course, different accents. *shakes head*

Well, ever since I moved to Melbourne, I feel like I'm losing control of my otherwise-decent American accent.. Mainly because the locals here speak with a completely different tone and dialect, with different emphasis on vowels and sounds and what-have-you, and at some point I start to adapt and thus my verbal abilities are affected. *sighs*

Well yeah I still speak with my old comfy accent anyhow, but now I need to put some effort into being able to match and pronounce words correctly, sometimes resulting in me clumsily mixing up different accents and pronunciations all in one sentence due to confusion. And I am always prone to outside influences, so yeah. I guess that explains all.

Anyways. Backing off from my stream of random thoughts...
Should I start counting down the days towards going home?

Everybody else is now doing that in their MSN nicks, and being the unforgivably un-creative and peer-pressure-sensitive human being that I am, I am tempted to go with the flow and start my own count. *sighs*

Honestly, yes I am sooooooooooo looking forward to going back home. But I also believe that the more I incline myself to look forward to it and the more I anticipate by counting down the remaining days left till ta-dah! you're home, the more agitated I will be, and most probably that will then shift my focus. Instead of making the best use of my remaining 2007 moments here in Melbourne, I will probably slack off and waste my time in order to inevitably speed up the process and rush back to J-Town.

So, yeah.
After second thoughts, thanks but no thanks. I'll just let everything flow as they will and hopefully I can still go home in time happily, counting-free! *smiles*

I'm never best in numbers after all, so that shouldn't be much of a problem.

The dinner is ON tomorrow night! Gotta prepare early, I guess. Hahahaha. *winks*

All the best for you guys Uni ppl with your exams! Am crossing my fingers endlessly now, wishing the best of luck for y'all. *grins*

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

...i got my eye on you...

Blackout-craze day three. Omigosh I'm starting to feel brainwashed.

Was reading through the latest edition of Lot's Wife, the one-and-only internal student-run tabloid of Monash University Clayton. I always like reading stuff that's in the tabloid, partly because the articles are somewhat dim-witted yet crackingly funny, and those writers who contribute to the tabloid are all smart and witty in their own special ways. It's outspoken, often sarcastic, and free-spirited.

Yeah, I was skimming through the latest edition, cracking up every once in a while, feeling occasionally Aussie-ish while at one point recognizing the upcoming election this November, then suddenly I came to realization that the Lot's Wife edition I was reading actually was the supposedly LAST edition of the tabloid. Evident from the title, "THE LAST HURRAH". (Hurrah is the Oz slang for Hooray, if I'm not mistaken).

Well, censorship is always a major issue for every form of published media. Reminds me of those good ol' times part-timing as a journalist back in J-Town, when my boss constantly reminded me of ethics and censor-possible materials contained in my work. Yeah, Lot's Wife would be shut down temporarily because its funding is suspended by the MSA due to the presence of a supposedly-offensive material in its publication. Well, not gonna go into details here, but basically that's the issue.

Personally, I don't think this is fair. The whole idea of Lot's Wife being present is actually to provide Monash Uni Clayton students with some sort of a place to express their views and opinions about stuff that concerns all. And to be able to serve that function, it HAS to be honest. And frank. And liberal. And straightforward. Hell yeah it can be awfully biased sometimes, but aren't we all? *sighs*

Even in a country as free-willed and open-minded as Australia, minor opinionated issues like this can sometimes get in the way. Free press is the new groove, people. Might as well go back to the era of communism straight away. Well I have to add that I am not defending anyone here. I'm merely expressing my view.

So, yeah. I was kinda shocked to find out that the tabloid is now put on hold, at least temporarily. Even the last edition is independently-funded by contributors and friends.

Now I am so gonna miss Lot's Wife. Can no longer grab a free copy from that worn-out newsstand in front of Monash Radio on the way back to class from lunch.
But wait. Let's just hope that the suspension thingy is canceled or something. That way I won't feel so sad. Yeah I know I'm exaggerating here.

As I was mentioning to Ian and Jacelyn during this afternoon's Buyer Behavior tute, my brain doesn't seem to be willing to cooperate with my mood these days. It's like I really, REALLY want to start doing some work, but my brain doesn't seem wanting to boot up and get excited about that, AT ALL. I am super-slow in digesting information these days, common ones let alone academic-related lectures and what-have-you. Dunno why, but it feels like my senses are still set on that super-happy holiday-mood, and I don't know how to, well, reset the clock and get back to speed, metaphorically speaking.

Anyone knows how to boost up a lazy brain? *blinks*
Let's just hope this lemot-ness *in lack of a better word* doesn't linger for weeks. Otherwise I will as well be dead lagging on my work. *sighs*

Hugs 'n kisses people!!
Hahahahahahhaha. Lates. =D