Saturday, August 30, 2008

...when you bend it, you can't mend it...

Currently listening to: Heart Like a Wheel - The Corrs

I feel like yelling this out loud:
*jumps around*

Pictures of the new style coming soon. Been trying to capture a good one but I miserably failed. Gotta get a better camera soon. *sighs*

LOL. Exaggerating, I know. But for those of you who really know me, this shouldn't come as a surprise. Everybody in my social circle knows that I pay very special attention to the health and well-being of my hair. This is like a personal fact that partly defines who I am. I vividly remember that it used to annoy the shit out of my mom to wait for me doing my hair for an occasion when I was still living at home. The more important the occasion is, the longer it would take for me to finish doing my hair. *laughs*
But hey, having my hair properly done is a MAJOR thing for me. It's important. If a guy can't have that, what can a guy have? *winks*

But yeah. For the sake of cutting the crap, I'll proceed.
Thanks for the ever-reliable Jacob for doing such a magnificent job on my hair! *grins*

It's Saturday, and so far I haven't been the most alive and kickin'.
Today is probably one of my LEAST productive days this entire year this semester. Been bumming around the house doing absolutely nothing. Well I did cook my lunch and clean the pantry up a little, but other than that, what exactly have I been doing these past six hours?

Still. Thank GOD for Lazy Saturdays! *jumps around*
Now I gotta get started on doing some research for my BHS1712 essay. It's due in like two weeks' time and I haven't even settled on a topic of interest.

Oh by the way.
As promised, here are some pictures of my room before and after the major clean-up. *laughs*

Okay. They may not give the impression that my room is super-clean or whatever, but trust me, it is indeed much cleaner now. The endless stacks of newspapers are gone, the laundry basket is now tidier, and my bags are tucked in neatly inside my spacious wardrobe. The carpet is dust-free, the fish-tank water has been changed, and even my usually-overloaded bookshelf have been reorganized. Oh, and have I mentioned that my room smells of Oceanus home fragrance oil now? Guess I have. *grins*

I've promised myself that I will be more organized from now on. And ideally that shouldn't be too hard to accomplish, yet being the slob that I am, I think I gotta put some more effort into constantly reminding myself that I can't randomly throw stuff across the room anymore.

*gazes around the room for a moment*

My DULL walls could use a little decorating, perhaps. Some more vibrant color tones wouldn't hurt. And I could add some more of those glow-in-the-dark starry ornament thingmabob on my ceilings just to make them more... glowing? *raises eyebrows*

Thing is, I've been planning to make a do-it-yourself collage poster out of unused magazine pages and colorful weekend papers -- hence the spare stack of newspapers I have consciously left behind during my major clean-up time. *points at stack near bookshelf as pictured in the photo above*
Well, seeing that the idea hasn't been particularly realized so far, let's just say I've been annoying myself these past few days by being awfully reluctant in getting started with the collage-making thingy. Procrastinating, much? Same old, same old.

I did ask some friends to help me re-decorate my room, though.
I hope it's happening soon. Can't wait! *smiles*

Two fabulous concerts scheduled this Summer: Alicia Keys on December 17, and Kylie Minogue on December 19. Or is it the other way around?
Whatever. The point is, I've originally planned to go back home on December 1. Now I'm so tempted to stay in Melbourne just a little while longer to catch those two concerts. But I do know if I delay flying back home, my mom's gonna freaking kill me, knowing that she's so desperate to have me around for Christmas. *sighs*

OMG. Should I stay, or should I stick to the original plan?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

...i - don't - think - you - know...

Currently listening to: Radar - Britney Spears

I'd just finished skimming through this week's array of readings for BHS1712 and right now I'm sleepy as hell. I'll probably go downstairs for a bit to drink some milk *yum!* and head to bed very soon. My class starts at the horrifyingly early hour universally-known as 9AM tomorrow and I don't wanna miss the lecture because the fantastic lecturer from BHS1711 is back!
*raises hands in the air*

Yeah, I know. I'm nerdy.
Being Asian definitely has its perks. *snickers*

But really. The only reason why I consistently do my readings for BHS1712 every week is because I actually enjoy studying this subject!
Well I'm aware that now you've probably got one more reason to call me nerdy, but I really do enjoy doing this subject. It's fun, it's edgy, it's philosophical, and the stuff that I learn in the subject are definitely in line with my long-existent interests in psychology and human behavior. What more can I ask for?

That was what my desk had looked like ten minutes ago.
And yeah, you're right, there's an empty grande-sized Starbucks paper cup standing quietly on the background. Talk about your excessively annoying brand loyalty, JJ.

As y'all can see, the textbook may look intimidating, considering its sheer size and thickness. As one of my Aussie classmates once put in, you can smack the life out of a bloke by just hitting his head with this bloody HUGE book! *laughs*
And the fact that this subject expects its students to actually read two to three readings every week as well as do a major 2000-word essay worth 50% for the semester will probably scare off most numberwise-intelligent Commerce students, especially all you lot taking Accounting and Finance. *cough cough* But for me, it serves as an escapade from the real world. At least I can find some answers, and fill in some gaps.

*flinches at the exaggeration*

Yeah. I'm gonna stop terrifying you guys with my super-nerdy ramble right now.
Bottom line: Behavioral Studies rock! *winks*

I should go to bed, like, soon-ish?
I hope tomorrow's gonna be cold and frosty. I don't want Winter to end. *sighs*

And, oh yeah, I actually managed to clean up my room the other day.

*insert sounds of people applauding here*

Now I no longer live in an academic dump, thank GOD.
Took me two days to completely wipe the place clean, so to speak. But now the trash are all gone, the carpet is vacuumed and dust-free, and the whole room now smells of Oceanus home fragrance oil. Can you say relaxing? *breathes in*

Ah. I love my life.

Catch you guys later. =]

Sunday, August 24, 2008

...why don't you just stay with me?...

Currently listening to: Stay - Ne-Yo ft. Peedi Crakk

Starbucks Coffee, corner Bourke-Swanston streets, Aug 22, 2008

Ah. The blues of living in the suburbs.

Let's just say that after an awfully long wait, I was finally reunited with my long-lost buddy, the triple venti skinny caramel latte, dry froth, with extra caramel sauce, and no sugar. Gulps of delicious delight, sweetly contained in the ever-familiar signature paper cup. *sighs*

Right. Rambling. Okay.
All dreamy Friday-Starbucks-session aside...

My room looks like a dump. Feels like one too, though still a very cozy one at that.
Thank God it doesn't smell like a dump. And it's not like I'm ever gonna let my room stink or anything, but it drives me bananas, realizing that my room is full of rubbish and I haven't exactly done anything to get rid off those trash up to this very point. *tugs at hair*

And it just pisses me off to see those untidy stacks of newspapers I had previously kept for International Business lying around on the floor near the left-hand corner of my room, ignorantly standing out on their own as if wanting to make a scene. My bags are still scattered by the bed together with some of my uni stuff, and the water in my fish-tank still hasn't been changed.
OMG. Chaotic, much?
Gotta put up a picture of my room to illustrate my points better. Will probably do it in the next post.

This calls for a major intervention. And I'm so gonna make sure that I do some early Spring-cleaning sometime this week. Otherwise there's no way I'm ever gonna start getting motivated into cleaning my room, like, thoroughly, vacuum cleaner and all.
Let's settle on this Tuesday, given that I don't meet up with my groupmates for that frikkin' annoying Marketing Management decision 3. But that's still undecided, infuriatingly enough. For the record, I frikkin' HATE this project.
*shakes head*

But yeah. I guess it's safe to say that this week won't be as hectic as the last two, which are now gone and done with, thankfully. Much work to do, yes, but I'll have plenty of space to relax, and catch up with sleep, and do my hair *wink wink*, and clean, of course, amongst many other things.

Hopefully I'll be able to escape to the city again this week.
Winter's coming to an end and I wanna make the best use of the rest of the season before the flowers start blooming.
*blows a misty breath into the frigid air*

Oh, on a random note:
I miss flying with Singapore Airlines so badly. Can't wait till the end of the year!
I'm desperately craving for Sundanese food.
And strangely enough, Andrea Corr's songs are suddenly playing in my head with no specific reason. Creepy, much? And it's not that I'm complaining, since her solo album is fab and all, but it's just weird.
*scratches head*

Good luck for those facing midtests this week!
We've got a few birthdays coming soon as well, so there's plenty of reasons to celebrate!
*jumps around*

Have a nice week, guys. I know I'll try to anyway.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

...i hope it never goes away...

Currently listening to: Pieces of Me - Ashlee Simpson

Morning, peeps.
It's raining outside, and I'm stuck in uni. Thank heavens for the ever-vacant Menzies computer labs; at least I can kill some time waiting for the morning shower to cease.

Didn't have to attend the usual 9AM lecture today yet I still had to wake up early 'cuz I had a mid-test for my Behavioral Studies subject this morning. Talk about taking a quick shower on an insensibly freezing morning. *shivers*
And, truth be told, the test didn't go exactly well, to say the very least.

Reality check: I wasn't actually prepared for the test anyway.
Out of the 15 readings I was supposed to revise for the test, I only managed to read like 9 of them last night. I was exhausted after only having four hours of sleep the night before, so in the end I just gave up trying to study and head to bed. And as it turned out, the test was full of ambiguous arrangements of most of the materials I had revised. If only I had put more effort into staying awake and reading with a clear head. Goodness crapness.

Multiple choices + Not enough preparation + ambiguous test at 9AM = total HELL.

Damn. This is why I freaking hate multiple choice questions. Especially the ones that end with D) All of the above and E) none of the above.
Call me harsh, but to me it seems like whoever made those questions had been, like, eternally undecided about which correct answers to give out, and instead of making the right answers subtly suggestive, had decided to add those two demented options at the end of every choice list just to obscure things and make the lives of the test-doers so much harder.

Whatever. What's done's done.
It's 10AM and I'm still grumpy. And the stupid-arse lady at Coffee HQ downstairs just succeeded in pissing me off a little bit more by making me a LARGE, instead of a TALL skiny caramel latte for my order. OMG, I mean, she takes my coffee orders like almost everyday! Forgetting is so out of the question. And it gets even more unacceptable 'cuz she actually knows me by name.
Irritated, much?
Or maybe she's just not a morning person to have been able to forget my usual daily order, just like I am so NOT born for early mornings. *yawns*
Or maybe she just took the wrong cup when making my coffee? It was a good thing that I didn't have to pay more for a larger-sized latte, though. Thankfully.

Now that I've got nothing to do 'till 2PM, I guess I'll just amble my way back home once the rain outside has eased up a bit. Better start thinking about what to cook for lunch. *drools*

Morning caffeine fixes make my day.
And I wouldn't mind walking home under the rain if only I weren't as unfit and sleep-deprived to begin with. Oh well. No-sleepers can't be whiners.

I'll talk to you guys later, then.
Heyheyhey for an awesome, rainy Thursday! *grins*

UPDATE: It's 2.30PM now, and I can't get out of the house. The rain's still pouring outside and it doesn't show any signs of stopping. Guess I'm skipping another tute then. *sighs*

Saturday, August 16, 2008

...i'm dreaming out loud...

Anyer Beach, 2007

Okay. So now it's official.
*jumps around in excitement*

I hope you guys like the new layout. Or at least promise me you will try to learn to like it? Well, after all, it's been what, two years since this blog last changed its layout? So, yeah there you go. It's always good to have changes happening every once in a while.
Right? *grins*

Alright. All reintroductions aside...
Update: Life hasn't been treating me good lately.

I know, maybe I complain too much.
Reality bites. HARD. Sometimes I'm so awfully tired I just feel like I wanna disappear. Like, as if tons of assignments and assessment tasks are not burdensome enough for a second-year uni student to handle. Emotional turmoil, much?
Thank GOD I managed to get by, and didn't succumb into like an emotional breakdown or something. Now that would've been bad. *sighs*

But now I'm okay. I think. Stable at the very least.
After a relaxing Friday night and a lazy-ass Saturday morning *YAY!*, I'm recharged and ready to face another period of hard work. And I'm surely gonna need all the strength that I can get to go through another hectic week. Remind me to do a sanity check, like, every three hours or so. Just to make sure I'm still here, mental health and all. *raises eyebrows*


A couple of days ago, I was talking to an old friend, now residing in Sydney, on the phone about life, and changes, and our pursuits of freedom. This was when I was so crapped up and stressed out that going to sleep was even hard to do, then thanks to 3 Mobile free minutes, I decided to give this amazing person a ring, and yes she wasn't asleep at 2 in the morning so we ended up talking.

Somewhere during the almost-one-hour-long conversation, she once again reminded me that for us, the concept of total freedom is insane.
Well, go figure.

Growing up Asian in a conservative family within a conservative country with contradicting beliefs and values, I've been forced to believe that humans exist as a collective, with limited free will and freedom of choice. I am obliged to always get back to family in everything that I do. What I do, what I think, what I say, and what I believe in, everything has to always pass through some kind of family censorship.
Like, I can NEVER do something freely, without having a family member find out about it and report it back to the rest of the crowd. Free will is obsolete, and don't even get me started on complaining about freedom of choice. They're totally out of the picture.

Sometimes I can't help but think that this is unfair.
After all, I am an individual. A single human being. A separate entity, with my own values and beliefs and preferences and interests. Ideally, I'm free to choose. I'm free to live my life the way I want to. So why is it that I have to always conform to those stupid standards set by family, most of which I don't agree with?

Come on, JJ, do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that. Do this, 'cuz it's good for you. Do this, 'cuz Mommy tells you to. Don't do this, 'cuz it's not appropriate. Don't do that, 'cuz if you do that and get caught, your family will be disgraced.
Well I don't effin' care, so shut it.

And it's not that I don't love my family. I do love them dearly, and I care about them.
But that doesn't necessarily mean that I have to always be in line with their decisions. Does it?
I mean, I wanna have a life of my own, thank you very much. Let me learn how to survive with my own style, in my own ways, according to my own values and beliefs. After all, I'm not a toy, or a doll. I have my own prerogative. There's gotta be a time when you really let me go and allow me to really stand up on my own two feet. I appreciate what you guys have done for me so far, but yeah, I really wanna be free.

I know probably I'm taking this whole concept of freedom a little too seriously.
But just imagine living inside a social and cultural cage your whole effin' life and being continuously told what to do all the time by they very people who claim they love you. You couldn't have a say, let alone decide on what you were gonna do with your life. Even after you managed to get away a little and start over in a different country, they always want to chase you back, not letting go. Everytime you feel that you've finally one step closer to freedom, they always come around to remind you that they won't ever let go.

Their best argument? This is all for your own good. You won't see it now, but eventually you'll understand, when you grow up later in life.
Whatever that means.

So, yeah. Being Asian is tough.
If you're not careful, you'll lose yourself and be just another member of the brainwashed collective. And I'm sick of being uniform. Sick of seeing everybody else turn to hollow cases of reinforced values and beliefs, with no free will whatsoever.

I wanna break out, I don't wanna be like them.
Yet I know it's nearly impossible for me to do.
Outcast, much?

I envy Western people. I really do.
I hate the fact that they've got a LOT of freedom in their hands and I barely have any in mine. I hate the fact that they can choose to liberate themselves from the constraints of family boundaries and get no consequences for doing that, while if I even dare to try to do that, my family will think I'm disowning them, and that's not good.

Oh well.

Growing up is painful as it is necessary.
And yes, you cannot be a single white rose amongst thousands of red, thorny ones. You'll eventually end up conforming, or adapting, or dying, if you're not hardy enough for Nature to consider as worthy of survival.

The question now is, am I ready to be different, above it all?
Are you?

...Have a nice weekend, peeps. =]

Saturday, August 09, 2008

...demons out to get me as I stand alone...

Currently listening to: Bittersweet World - Ashlee Simpson

Like, seriously.
Watching FRIENDS back-to-back is soothingly therapeutic, at least for a while.
Although I know I'm probably still as unproductive as ever, if not more, but whatever.

This week has been, well, BAD. With caps, and in bold.
Disasters come in waves, one after another. I'm just thisclose to letting myself succumb into a deep emotional breakdown. But I've known better to hang on and take control. There's no use being a crybaby anyway; I'd just end up being a burden to other people.

And what do I do after unsuccessfully going through a horrendous, emotional week?
Sit down on my fat ass and watch FRIENDS, of course. I mean, seriously. What better way to celebrate?

Do notice the extreme sarcasm I put in my tone. Too bad this blog isn't visual.

I've just realized how tiring it is to be unhappy while the world continues to revolve around me, not even bothering to care. It costs me double the energy, double the stamina. When you try to project a form of happiness that's insincere and hollow. And I don't know how much longer I can endure existing as an empty shell.

It sucks having to survive alone.
Homo homini lupus, much?
Nah. I won't even go into talking about that.

People have been telling me to stop being a bitch and shut the eff up. I know I've been whiny, doing annoyingly, severely, suicidally so that some people are already dying to, like, smack my head onto the pavement and watch me bleed all over the place or something.

*insert crowd yelling 'drama king, drama king' here*

At least you guys have to know that I'm not being fake here. Superficiality transcends my dictionary; I'm just being nothing but real. So shut it.

I just spent my entire Saturday, as in like the whole frikkin' day, all cooped up inside the warm confines of my house. Well I did get out for morning prayer but technically that doesn't count. The weather's been chilly all day, and the winds are at play right now as I type. Talk about late-night whoosh-whoosh. *snickers*

I managed to do a little bit of cleaning, some couple hours of procrastinating, and a LOT of cooking.
Spent like TWO hours in the kitchen channeling my inner chef, boiling and chopping and frying and cutting and doing myself no justice in messing up the whole kitchen area. And boy, it completely paid off in the end.
Macaroni chicken and tomato soup with sausages and vegetables, anyone?
Got some leftover in the fridge if y'all want some. *winks*

Well. Even Mr. Whiny needs his soup. No complaints on that one.

And, on a random sidenote, I kinda miss Paris.
Note that I'm referring to Paris as the city of Paris, France. Not the blond, eternally fake-tanned, globe-trotting, self-promoting one, mind you. And of course, for the fun of adding, Benji Madden is totally out of the picture. *laughs*

There you go. My first and foremost favorite city in the world, without a doubt.
And I'm lucky enough to have been there, once.

Even its closer-to-home Southern Hemisphere counterpart, meaning Melbourne, cannot compare to the real thing, in all levels, dimensions, and aspects. No, not one bit.
Well one can't ask too much when he knows the word 'impossible' bloody damn well to shut up, yet sometimes I wonder, what would life been like as a Parisian (rather than, say, as a Melburnian)?

It's been years since I last visited this magnificent, romantic city. So why the sudden thought of missing Paris after all these years?
I was browsing through the magical world of Youtube and found a couple of movie clips, commercial and indie, with the city set as background. The sparks were ignited there.

Feels kinda nostalgic, to see footages of riverside walks, alleyways, leafless trees, bridges, and couples, all depicted sweetly so as to redundantly emphasize the town's already-established image of romanticism.

I've been there. I had walked along the endless riverside path, during the beginning of dusk, in the middle of Winter, my breaths steamy and frigid as my naive eyes wandered around in awe, taking in the inexplicable beauty of the classic town. I had watched couples kissing and exchanging "je t'aime"s and "j'adore"s as they hugged on the sidewalk. I had cruised the Seine River and watched the city revolve around me, with the Eiffel towering elegantly right at the very center of the square.
Well, I was still a kid back then, but that didn't stop me from falling straight in love with the town.

If reality permits, I promise, I will come back there someday, somehow.
OMG. Come on. Living in Paris is like my biggest dream. *sighs*

*tugs at hair, yawns, stretches hands up in the air*

This has been a VERY LONG post so I'm just gonna stop here for now.
Oh yeah. I've got a new blog layout coming out very soon, so watch out for that. I know that everybody, including myself, is tired of this same old backdrop that's been here for like forever, and I'm excited about making some changes. Soon. =]

Gosh. I really AM moody.
Notice that I shift from whiny to cheery in one single post. Talk about creepy.

Have a nice weekend, guys!

Monday, August 04, 2008

...and make it a better place...

Currently listening to: Heal The World - Michael Jackson

You guys might be thinking, gosh, what's with the I-just-got-out-of-the-90's song choice?
But there's actually a valid reason, other than the fact that my iTunes playlist for once had betrayed my super-modern sense of music, behind it. Yeah, there's more than what meets the eye.

Today's post will drift quite drastically from the usual daily bitching, and I guess I will at least sound a little bit more intelligent, hopefully. *laughs*

Let me just begin by saying that, well, reading today's copy of The Age was quite depressing, to say the least. *sighs*

Don't even let me get started on political issues, and all those crap about the upcoming Beijing Olympics scheduled to open in four days' time. The Business Day section is still dead boring as always, full with the usual inflation-deflation-schmonflation rap we Marketing students have all understood too much for our own good. Even the usually-entertaining comic strips are uncharacteristically less funny.
But all minor negativity issues aside, the main headline of today's paper was actually emphasizing on the good ol' go-green gargle.

Global warming, much?

All you interested brainies out there can CLICK HERE to read the shocking article.
*takes a deep breath*

In short, our planet is melting, for real.
The article is basically saying that we gotta start preparing ourselves to say goodbye to the ice plates of Arctic (a.k.a The North Pole) during Northern Hemisphere summer periods. The painful fact is that the ice cap is melting at a much faster rate than it was once predicted. And if this keeps up, by 2012 or 2013 there will be practically no ice up there during summer months.

This signals extreme danger to the animal population of the North Pole; polar bears, snow wolves, and seals, to name a few. What's worse is that more water will lead to worse flooding throughout the globe as well as rising sea levels, and it is actually predicted that if the North Pole is not frozen during summer months, the overall speed rate of global warming will be expected to rapidly rise as well, due to all those water-retains-more-heat and water-keeps-it-from-going-back-to-the-atmosphere theories and stuff.

We all know what that means, don't we? *shivers at the thought*
Talk about making a terrible news sound even more horrifying.

You'll realize how bad the condition is once you've seen the pictures of the Arctic ice cap all cracked out and melted all over the place like some sort of shattered glass or something. Well I know for a fact that it scared the shit out of me to read the article and see the ghastly pictures. Even more so 'cuz I was actually reading the physical copy of the paper. *sighs*

It's about time for us to really start paying more attention to environmental issues.
Go green, guys. For real. Do whatever we can to prevent global warming from getting even more worrying than it already is.

Recycle everything that's recyclable out of your waste.
Save water, whenever possible.
Start using eco-friendly household products.
Stop using plastic bags, use eco-friendly containers instead.
Use less paper to help preserve the forests.
Reduce the use of cars and travel on public transport to reduce pollution.
Do whatever you can to contribute in reducing the use of fossil fuels.
Don't litter; throw your rubbish in the bins provided.
Don't overuse electricity; unplug all your electricity plugs when not used.

Whew. Can't think of any more go-green stuff to recommend.
But you guys get my point, right?
Yes, I'm doing all those stuff myself. So I encourage you all to also start going green, in any way, or ways, possible. Every little thing counts, so never take anything for granted. *grins*

We have to make the world liveable for future generations. Don't let them all take the burden and blame for all the reckless things that we do. 'Cuz I do believe that after all, we're still here to stay. And we must try whatever we can to ensure that we do. Don't we?

Stop global warming! Before it's too late.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

...and now we're like sweet seventeen a lot...

Currently listening to: Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered - Rod Stewart ft. Cher

Southbank, Melbourne, June 25 2008

I don't know what pisses me off more: the revelation that the teaser trailer for the sixth Harry Potter movie is only one minute and thirty minutes long, OR the fact that the paperback editions of 'Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows' are currently on extreme sale at Borders.

I mean, seriously.
A bloody Harry Potter book for just $17.95? OMG. Are you frikkin' MENTAL??
Mind you, this comes from a diehard Harry Potter fan who pre-ordered and bought the seventh book for a whopping $39.95 last year. *tugs at hair desperately*

My throat is still giving me a hard time, although the soreness has subsided and my voice is steadily back, more or less so. Coughing has never been a pleasant thing to do, and it seems like recently I've been doing a little too much coughing for my own good.

I hate it when even my own throat isn't willing to cooperate. It's not like I've had any success in totally taking control of its healthiness and fitness in the past or anything, but still it bugs me to realize that I'm not as strong and illness-free as I think I am.

So I guess I'm going to bed soon. *yawns*
I actually wanted to put up a post for the mere sake of updating anyway.

FYI, my iTunes playlist has just been updated with a LOT of new jazz songs, and I'm feeling dreamy right now.
Wonder why almost all jazz songs are all about honest sweetness and sincere simplicity. *sighs*

Have a great Sunday, people! *hugs*
Sweetest greetings from winter-y Melbourne. =]