Tuesday, February 26, 2008

...when you're lying awake...

Currently listening to: Ten Feet High - Andrea Corr

I ran into Gaby in the city yesterday, on my way to catch a movie at Hoyts Melbourne Central. She looked great in black! Omg it was great to finally see her again after all these months! Hahaha. If you're reading this, Gabs, this is for youuuuuu! *laughs*

Oh yeah btw.
Yesterday was my very first day in uni, and to be honest, it wasn't so bad.
I got to see some old friends. Make some new ones. I saw a LOT of Aussies in my class, which isn't supposed to be strange knowing that I'm taking Marketing/Communication subjects, those of which are dominated by Aussies and are relatively scarce of Asians *blinks eye at the thought*.

Not that I'm complaining about that, though. I really hope I can finally be able to make some real Aussie buddies this time. *laughs*

And, oh yeah. I also happened to have found some new, previously-hidden hang-out places on campus. A place like the simply sweet cafe below Hargrave Andrew Library I visited with MelMel after class yesterday. Or the nice, freshly-mown grass field near Engineering Building suitable for slacking off between classes.

It was finally revealed to me that my dear Clayton campus is in fact authentically HUGE.
No kidding. Like, I can get lost in the area within seconds. Truth be told, if MelMel hadn't been with me the whole time, guiding me through all those complicated alleyways and shortcuts to various places, I would've been lost in no time, crying my heart out like some silly retard. *laughs*

What's worse, my classes are all spread out in different buildings. Building 8, Building 12, Building 25, and some other buildings I haven't even heard of. So much for the hopeful thought that I would be based on the square-beehive-looking Robert Menzies building. But I guess I'll have to get by. After all, wandering around campus is fun, especially with Autumn coming soon. I'll get to see all the leaves turn red! *smiles*

Mental note: Remember to ALWAYS bring the campus map with me at all times during like the first three or four weeks to avoid disastrous experiences.

Alright then I gotta go now.
Got a lunch date coming up with old College friends! Yippie! *laughs*

Sunday, February 24, 2008

...take it to a whisper...

Currently listening to: Say It Again - Marie Digby

Strangely, I'm not feeling well. *sighs*

My head is constantly spinning and my stomach is hurting. It feels like somebody's lazily drilling a hole through the left side of my head and I can hear the sound of the drill buzzing distantly from the inside. I feel nauseous at the same time as well. And this is not just about me being deprived of coffee; I think my body's really not in its best usual state right now. Talk about bad timing, what with uni life starting soon and all. *shakes head*

Thing is, the weather's been really freaky these past few days, with awfully strong winds and occasional showers, and lately I've been practicing the randomly-approved act of random eating at random places with random moods during random times. Numerous midnight McD-trips, food-hunts, Monopoly games, and usual Starbucks runs contribute to my current state of being lost in consumption insanity. So now I guess my body's beginning to suffer from the after-effects of my recent not-so-healthy lifestyle.

Geez. my life is starting to seem eerily similar to the crazy routine of Britney Spears before her family stepped in and took control. You think so? *laughs*
Please do pardon my unnecessary gossipblog-quote, btw.

Uni classes start tomorrow, and I'm so excited! *jumps around*
Well not so much about the screwed-up timetable full of early-morning classes, that's for sure. Yet, timetable trouble dismissed, all my subjects are actually kinda fun to begin with. So I think I'm still gonna be looking forward to attending those classes after all.

It's time for me to channel my inner Arts-student-in-disguise nerd. *laughs devilishly*

Alright then. Catch y'all later. I really need to get some rest now.
See ya!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

..the morning rain clouded my window..

Currently listening to: Stan - Eminem ft. Dido

St. Kilda Beach, Port Melbourne, 19 February 2008

I was originally planning to go to the uni today to ask about my screwed-up timetable for Semester 1, yet the peaceful rain that has been pouring since the beginning of the day made me think twice. *breathes in*

I had to rush outside and salvage my almost-drenched-again laundry at around 8 this morning after I was woken up by the sudden cold rush invading my room from the half-open windows. The air was frigid, and the raindrops were mercilessly washing away the traces of lingering heat from last night. Then I went back to sleep for another two or three hours before I finally decided it was time to get outta bed for real to enjoy the gratefully-welcomed cool change after three days of dry hotness.

So, here I am, basking in the thorough clearheadedness of post-morning-coffee after-effects, typing away while listening to the sweet beats the rain is making, pouring onto the shades outside my window. It's during times like these that I can reconnect to my long-abandoned bond with nature. Somehow this feels like a little reunion between the melancholic soul of mine and the dancing raindrops.

I have also been in touch with my forgotten childhood obsession towards living in the United Kingdom this morning, strangely.

Like, I accidentally came across an article about Blue, a defunct British boyband that was supposedly planning a comeback but whose reunion got cancelled due to various reasons. I remember that I used to be quite an enthusiastic listener of their music, subconsciously relating my usually moderate taste of Britpop with my blind love for the sophisticated lifestyle of the young British generation. This was because I was really crazy about living in the UK; I even tried to lobby my parents into sending me to London for education, and was just thismuch towards success before the sudden Indonesian economy crash kicked in and the currency rates (meaning the value of the Rupiah) fell drastically, making the realization of my dream no longer feasible to achieve.

So I started browsing through the net, reading for articles related to the band, as well as looking up information in the ever-helpful Wikipedia about UK and UK-related stuff. Next thing I knew, my mind was flashing back to the neglected memories of strolling through the streets of London during Winter, with my jacket(s) on, scarfs around my neck, shopping bags dangling from both hands, and a permanent smile stuck on my face just because I was happy to be where I was. *sighs*

Well it's not like I'm not thankful that I end up living in Melbourne. It's just that, London's like my ultimate dream city, out of all eligible dream cities around the world. Well I've been to some of those dream cities; Paris, Barcelona, Milan, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Honolulu, Rome, Auckland, even Singapore. Yet nothing compares to the joy, the endless beauty, and the indescribable feeling of content that London can give me. I know it's probably just me being the dreamy self that I once was at some point in my life, but I can't help it.

It's sad, really. Knowing I have so far only spent a couple of nights in London. *sighs*
I should just shut up and be thankful that at least I have been there. And I will come back, someday, some not-so-distant days and months and years from now. I promise myself, I will set my foot on the grounds of London once again, no matter how long it's gonna take for me to accomplish this goal.

Alright so that concludes my stream of thoughts for today.
I better get back to worshipping the still-pouring rain.

And oh yeah, I've got a house inspection appointment at 4 this afternoon. So exciting! *laughs*
I hope everything's gonna be okay. I need to forget about my messed-up timetable and all other concerns regarding my academic life for a while. Well, some quick getaway sessions for the day won't hurt.

Have a nice rainy day people! *hugs*

Monday, February 18, 2008

...all heated up...

St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne, February 17, 2008

God knows how I ended up photo-whoring at St. Kilda beach last midnight.
Blame David for the crazy idea. Blame MelMel, Andrew, and myself for enthusiastically agreeing. Blame John Lie's car for its mere state of being available to hijack in the small hours of the night. And voila! Pictures, pictures, pictures. And a little bit of a stuffed-up nose, I might add.

May I now turn over a page and wisely suggest that bygones be let bygones?
*laughs stupidly*

Alright I beg your pardon. I propose brain overheat as my lame defense for the clueless rant I just typed above.

It's now about 32 degrees outside and it feels like I'm melting by the second. Been awfully hot and dry all day long, with the sun shining like there was no tomorrow. Even after all the scorching hotness has ceased and calmed down a bit, my room still feels like a goddamn furnace.

Somebody buy me an aircon fast, please. *sobs*

Thank God the season's changing really soon. And these last bits of Summer are actually quite a waste to be ignored. The sea is waitin' and the waves are rollin', as my wild-crazy-summerlovin' conscience is screaming out right about now.
Hence tomorrow we're planning on a trip to the beach! *jumps around*

I dared to brave the heat and make my way to Clayton campus this afternoon, in a quest to attend today's Monash Uni enrollment session. I managed to get my four units successfully enrolled for my first university semester ever, after like a full hour of skimming through all the available units, choosing, thinking, arguing, and finally deciding which ones to enroll in. It was painstaking, to say the least, yet also exciting in a sense. I mean, I had the luxury to freely arrange my course the way I want it to be like, choosing all the interesting subjects as well as the tedious compulsory ones and order them together so the hard work is spread out equally over two semesters.

I can't wait to see how my classes are gonna be like. My friends all say that taking Marketing subjects in Clayton campus means that I'm gonna be surrounded by Aussies. I hope I can fit into their social circles, at least. And I really wanna get a taste of how uni life is gonna be like. Pray for me. *sighs*

So it was fun, after all. Apart from the extreme heat that was basically grilling me well-done.
And to make things even better... I was assisted by the best guides available! Thanks to MelMel for the company and the endless recommendations about which subjects to take; I'll make sure I'm enrolled in the same classes as yours! Hahaha. *laughs*

Gotta go now. Have to sleep earlier tonight; I start mentoring in the college tomorrow and that means I gotta wake up bright and early!

Catch y'all later! *winks*

Thursday, February 14, 2008

...about valentine...

Alright alright.

Perhaps I'll just begin by throwing a handful of confetti and wish you guys a HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Another year, another moment, another lovey-dopey day. But not for me.

I still vividly remember the Valentine Celebration that I had last year with my besties, us having a HUGE feast of sweet stuff including eclairs and chocolates and green tea and cakes and what-have-you, dressed in pink-and-light-blue outfits and all geared up with monster-sized collective appetites. *laughs* It was good.

Seriously. Just look at the mess we've made below and you'll understand what I mean with the term HUGE. And, if I remember correctly, this was only part of round one.

Oh well. That was some three hundred and sixty five days plus a couple of hours and minutes and seconds ago.

This year? No love. No chocolates. No red. No pink. No light blue. No presents. No feast. No soft drinks. No cakes. No heart-shaped whatevers everywhere in sight, or in possession.

In fact, today I tried to avoid all the hubbub, and the countless lovebirds all around, and the awfully commercial festivity of the day. It was just me, and my lonely self desperate for some private attention. So, I decided to give myself a break from all the sociability and indulge in a rare moment of personal quality time alone.

And not just that. I dared go so far as to take myself all the way to Southland.

*gives myself a cheerful round of applause*

For those who don't know, Southland Shopping Center is a shopping mall located in Cheltenham, an outer suburb of Melbourne. It was my first time ever going to the area, and it took me approximately 40 minutes, by bus of course, to travel from the infamous Monash Clayton bus loop to the shopping mall itself.

Unexpectedly, I happened to pass by a couple of horse farms, green fields, and lots of sheep along the way. It somehow felt like I was driving along the far countryside areas of Australia all of a sudden, and I wasn't even halfway through the journey. I thought I was only going to another neighboring suburb or something, through main streets or primary roads with houses and shops, before I saw the horses, and at first I thought I was seeing things, but then more horses came to sight, followed by herds of sheep and a LOT of green everywhere; then I realized I WAS in fact passing through a glimpse of the countryside area of Victoria. *laughs*

Anyways. Yeah, so I went to Southland, walked around for quite a while and, soon found myself perched atop one of the most comfortable corner sofas inside the unexpectedly-supercozy Starbucks outlet there.

Overall, it was good fun. I spent three-and-a-half hours there sitting by myself, writing stuff, reading a book, taking pictures, thinking, calling people, talking to random people, and most of all observing my surroundings. It was strange to realize that I was the only Asian inside the confines of the coffee shop. Everybody else was Australian, with no exceptions, and I mean what I just said. I got plenty of odd stares from some of the Aussies, maybe upon hearing me speak Indonesian to some of my fellas on the phone.

And even when I got out of Starbucks in search of some fresh air, I noticed that Asian faces were quite scarce throughout the mall itself. I saw couples *sighs*, adults, kids, even schoolboys and schoolgirls with uniforms, but there were painfully few Asians within every category. Not that I'm ethnocentric or anything; somehow I just felt awfully out-of-place. Being among Aussies is nice, yet sometimes it just seems surreal, in a way. Add some of the odd stares and you'll find me dripping cold sweat all over myself. I felt somehow intimidated by the whole scene, as if I was trapped inside a different world where I stood out from the crowd and didn't belong.

Perhaps I'm too used to having same-race company all the time?

But despite all that, I really ENJOYED my quality time today, with caps. Especially realizing that ever since moving to Melbourne, I haven't got too much time to dispose in my hands, so quality-time moments have been rare. I promise myself that will change, though. I will try to take better care of myself, personally.

It takes some personal, uninterrupted moments like what I got the luxury to have today to realize just how much I have changed, how much stuff I have subconsciously missed in my life during my long-and-early process of growing up. Little things that I take for granted, small insignificant details that are often invisible and forgotten, but which make up who I am.

For instance, I hadn't realized before that I screw my eyebrows together when reading. That I curl my lips everytime I take a sip of my coffee. That I pick my nose shamelessly and doesn't care less about it. That I smile excessively to random people that some random Aussie can somehow approach me and compliment my smile *blushes*. Amongst other things I don't even have the guts to mention here as to protect my self-image. *grins*

In the end, I'm grateful that my Valentine's Day this year could be spent by doing something that's actually fruitful for me. Personally.

*throws confetti once again*

Summer Trimester Results are out, and guess what? I PASSED ALL FOUR SUBJECTS!!

Another good news to share with you guys.
I promise myself that I'm going to work even harder in days, weeks, months, years to come.

Bye-bye college, welcome uni life!!
*hops around*

Have a blessed weekend full of love! *winks*

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

...counting down, NOT...

"Maybe everyone has someone in their lives they can't talk about..."
-Natasha Crenshaw, "Untouchable"

I took that catchy quote from a book I read (please perceive as shamelessly snatched from a shelf in Borders and took it to read *for free* in Gloria Jeans) this afternoon, which was titled "Untouchable".

It's actually part of a teenage high-school-setting series called "Private" written by Kate Brian, an American author. Exactly not the type of books I would usually pick up in a bookstore, get interested in, then take to the cashier queue, I know. I personally believe that reading dramatic stuff about American high-school fling is really not my thing. Yet I have this habit of always wanting to finish off a story once I begin, so yeah, there you go. Can I use the phrase 'curiosity kills the cat' here? *blinks*

In fact, I originally had started reading the books preceding this one since I was back in high school, but didn't have the time to continue reading because my exams were in the way and I was also busy with my moving out to Melbourne, so yeah, the thought of settling down and going through the other parts of the series was out of the picture for some time.

It wasn't until this afternoon, my mind still boggling in post-Sweeney-Todd euphoria status, that I finally got the chance to be face to face with the mind-gripping series once again, resuming where I had left.

Back to the quote...
Yes I do agree that almost everybody has someone, or something in their lives that they can't talk about, at least not openly. Be it a family member, a friend, a forbidden lover, a guilty pleasure, a hidden crime, an embarrassing moment, sexuality, whatever.

And it's not that they are not actually proud of those people, or things, that they hide from the rest of the world. Sometimes it's not up to them to decide what to and what not to disclose; sometimes reality forces them to do so, to hide and deny all the things, the beautiful things that make up who they are, knowing so well that they hurt inside yet they can't do anything about it.

Painful secrets, I might say.

Sometimes the world can be awfully prejudiced, narrow-minded, and unreceptive to the idea of diversity.
And in order to be able to be accepted, sometime we need to conform to the standard of uniformity. Even though that often means denying everything that we are, and turn ourselves into completely different figures just to protect our self-image and grant us a valid position in the big bad world. While all those brave people who dare to stand up and be different are shunned and excluded, being called outsiders.

Hence, it arguably should be true that people keep their own secrets which they can't share with the rest of the world. Including myself.
That's my own interpretation of the quote. Pardon the philosophical jabber, please. I just needed to get it off my mind. *bows down*

Went to watch Sweeney Todd with Agnes and Andrew today. The movie was cool, and I can honestly say that Johnny Depp is AMAZING. It would be a very stupid loophole if he wasn't up for Best Actor or something in this year's Academy Award nominations. That pretty much sums it all, doesn't it? *laughs*

Three days before the big judgment, and my heart is thumping, fast, anxious, hard.

I can't believe my holidays are nearly over. It somehow feels like so far I haven't done anything productive.
And, to be realistic, I really haven't, much. Well, at least I have helped increase this country's current GDP by doing a LOT of unnecessary purchases. *sighs*

Oooooooooohh my I'm starting to sound annoying and cynical.
I guess I'm not in the right mood to blog right now.
So see yah later for now? *smiles*


Friday, February 08, 2008

...don't let anyone wake me...

Currently listening to: Dreaming Out Loud - OneRepublic

First of all, Happy Chinese New Year, guys.
May this year of the Rat bring happiness and prosperity for all of us. *smiles*

Cooked lunch-dinner and had fun with friends yesterday. We were dressed up in red just to make things more festive *laughs* and ate up like there was no tomorrow. The food was awesome, the moments were great. I'm still thinking of whether I should put up yesterday's pictures on Facebook, though. Dunno why I feel reluctant about it. Hahahaha.

My parents called me halfway through the night and I chatted with some of my cousins as well as relatives. It broke my heart knowing they were all having fun together in J-Town for the night, while I got stranded in the Land Down Under in my pursuit for brighter future *throws up*, but hey, I guess it wasn't so bad after all.

In fact, it was actually quite heartwarming to know that they were all actually missing me THAT MUCH to be willing to spare some thoughtful time to call me up and ask how my CNY day was. *laughs* So, yeah.

By the way.
The weather's been uncharacteristically cold since this morning and even now I'm shivering. Summer's creeping away fast, faster than I thought it would be.

I woke up this morning with a million thoughts all jumbled up inside my head, wanting to explode. And then I just realized that I had been subconsciously robbed off my personal private space without knowing exactly how that happened.

Like, I remember my eldest cousin [who's currently living in Malaysia] asking me for details about the contents of my Friendster bulletin board entries during the overseas family call last night, laughing and sneering and finally saying that these days information travels faster than the speed of light. Even a person can blatantly disclose his/her most personal things to random people without even realizing that he/she does through the magic wonders of the Internet. In this case, I have subconsciously disclosed some of my most private stuff to her via the bulletin board entries I posted, and she found out about those stuff within seconds.

In the reigning age of Friendster, Facebook, MySpace, Youtube, Blogger, Wordpress, and other Internet communities, it somehow seems like people are getting more and more personally-involved in their online existence. Those so-called forums are no longer acting as casual medias for mere leisure; they now serve as a "second-life" opportunity for technologically-equipped-and-updated people who exist as they are in the online world.

And, as the flow of information gets freer and freer, the idealistic concept of personal space and private spheres become increasingly obsolete, in one way or another.

For me personally, I don't deny the fact that I am also absorbed in this phenomenon. I, whose existence hovers around the boundary between a confirmed techno-freak and a potential exhibitionist, can frankly say that I actually enjoy being involved in the online world, as far as my accounts on Friendster and Facebook and Blogger go. I'm really lucky to be able to live in a developed country where Internet access is no longer a luxury, and that makes my existence in the online world even more established, proven with my constant reliance on the Internet for various justifiable reasons.

Yet sometimes I don't realize that when my online existence frequency increases, the size of my private sphere is pushed back, further and further, until the gap between my personal and public spaces are no longer noticeable. My previously well-kept personal space is now pseudo-existent, I might say.

And I can't reject the fact that I voluntarily expose myself to the risk of losing my private sphere by getting involved in those online communities in the first place. I initially just wasn't quite aware of the extent of possible privacy-deprivation that I was going to expose myself to by placing my existence in the cruel cruel online world.

This is inevitable, really; I'm even ranting about all this in my blog, which actually serves as one of the most direct channel to my personal thoughts and feelings. Go figure, right. I'm actually being redundantly two-faced with my words. Whatever. *sighs*

On one side, I'm now feeling the sudden urge to at least minimize the public disclosure of my personal aspects through all the online community accounts that I have. So at least I can try to salvage what is left of my private sphere and keep some for myself. or maybe strive to re-build the dividing walls and protect my integrity.

Yet, on the other side, 21st-century-and-moving-ly speaking, isn't this how the modern world is supposed to work out like nowadays? Like, things are supposed to be more and more impersonal, people will be more and more ignorant, and privacy will someday become nothing more than another aspect of an ideal world?

After all, it's not like I'm gonna start digging up a hole for myself and stay there forever to disappear from the online world, right...? *laughs*

Well, that's the thought for today.
Sorry for my inexcusable speech. I just couldn't help it.

Have a blessed weekend, guys! *hugs*

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

...gong xi gong xi..

I am now officially in love with Eternal Summer.

I'm gonna spare you all the details, but yeah, in short? The movie is AMAZING.
Like, seriously, artistically and characteristically amazing. I love the characters. I love the setting. I love the color schemes. I love the short shots. I love the dialogues. I love the slow pace. I love Jonathan Kang. *laughs*

Here are some memorable quotes taken straight from the movie's subtitles.


"Shane: ..Why did you disappear?
Jonathan: Well.. I just got bored.
Shane: What were you and that girl talking about?
Jonathan: Huh?
Shane: I said, what were you and that girl talking about?
Jonathan: Nothing, really. Why do you care?
Shane: *jerks hand away from Jonathan*
Shane: Why won't you tell me?
Jonathan: Tell you what? It's not important.
Shane: If it's not important, why can't you tell me?
Jonathan: Just small talk...
Shane: Are you gonna tell me or not?
Jonathan: *pouts* I don't want to.
Jonathan: ..Fine, she was just saying that..
Shane: *interrupts, walking away* I don't wanna hear anymore."

"When we grow up, everything changes..."

"Aren't we best friends? What can't you tell me..?"

"...Me or Carrie?"

"He was my only friend..."

"Shane... You're not just a friend to me.. I really really love you.."


Yeah. I think I've made my point already.
Dreamy stares and quiet, sobbing tears are just emotionally priceless. And this is me talking, not some spoiled, romantic, cheesy, and over-sentimental brat of an alter ego who'd just cried his heart out like a baby when watching this movie some one hour ago.

*wipes tears off cheek*

It's been raining on and off all day long, and I'm feeling somehow insecure.

Just now Mom told me that this Chinese New Year, all my direct blood-relatives are coming home to celebrate the day together. Each and everybody, all gathered round the table in one place back home for the festive season, except me. Poor little ol' me.

Upon hearing the news, I was like "WHAT?!" Since, you know, my family is quite large in numbers, and surely this is a very rare occurrence. I mean like, all twenty three members of the family together under one roof? Last time it happened was sometime in 2002, if I'm not mistaken. And that long-left-yet-not-forgotten moment could only be realized after a month's long of planning and compromising and a bit of bitter arguing.

So, when Mom passed me the big news this afternoon, I was quite shocked.
And now I'm regretting my decision to stay down under this Chinese New Year.

Oh well. I'm sure my absence won't make much difference to the feast, though. My presence is usually quite indifferent among the crowd anyway. So, I guess I'll just have to get by and focus on what's at hand...

...which is The Cooking date tomorrow! *jumps around*
And maybe we can all go to Springvale to watch the Chinese New Year celebration parade there.

Alrighty then.
I'll wrap up this post by wishing you guys a happy Chinese New Year. May this year be more prosperous and blessed for all of us.
Hong bao na lai? *winks*

Monday, February 04, 2008


Currently listening to: Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again - Emmy Rossum

.docklands harbor.
Docklands, Melbourne, February 2 2008

I woke up today feeling a sudden burst of extreme hatred towards the scorching hot summer sunshine shining brightly outside my window, so hot and sunny it caused the indoor temperature in my room to rise mercilessly, forcing me to kick away my blanket and wake up with endless yawns and squinting eyes. Shoot.

Thank God it's February, and if I'm not mistaken, Autumn is coming soon. Hopefully in a few weeks' time, probably sooner. I can't wait to see all the leaves go red and yellow. *sighs* Summer's just not my thing, I guess.

Ouch, that reminds me. I'm gonna spend this year's Chinese New Year without the usual big family gathering and all-day good-food good-money good-angpao feast.
Oh well. Reality bites.

I was watching this brilliant guy in one of his Youtube videos talking about stereotypes. On a sidenote, he's an American-Born Chinese *blinks eye enviously* and the reality of living in America as an ABC is actually quite hard, because Americans are full of stereotypes. But then again I guess it happens likewise in all parts of the world as well, not excluding the dry and sunny Land Down Under in which I'm currently residing.

And, come to think of it. Though I am more commonly labeled various stereotypes by people surrounding me, especially non-Asians, even at the same time I do label people with stereotypes sometimes. Like, I almost always associate people with their typical background traits and make conclusions based on those traits.
Sounds Buyerbehavior-ish enough? *slaps myself*

Here are some of my most commonly-used stereotypes that come to mind.
May I confirm here beforehand that this post is NOT intended to offend or irritate people coming from certain ethnic groups or backgrounds whatsoever. *bows down*

Alright. Here goes.

1. Mainland Chinese people speak bad English

Oh my, I know this is so not true, but I can't help it! Like, I hang out with a lot of Mainland Chinese students in my college, even good friends with some of them, and even though I know for sure that not all of them speak un-polished, un-structured English, but, truth be told, most of them do. And this doesn't just happen around college, no. Even in Chinese restaurants, most of the people who work there can't even speak English at ALL. *sign language alert*

And I totally get the reason why they have such a hard time learning how to speak English properly. Thing is, they don't usually have English as a compulsory language subject in their previous education levels, and their Mandarin tongues make it harder for them to switch to English and speak coherently.

As a Chinese myself, though I consider myself lucky enough to have been able to master English from a very young age, I'm quite used to this fact. Like, some of my elder relatives are now actually trying to learn how to speak and read in English, and they face more or less the same obstacle; alphabets, pronunciation, vowel sounds, etc. Since, you know, Mandarin and English are two completely different languages.

It touches me to see how hard they're trying to improve, though. In ways unexpected, nonetheless. *laughs* And I appreciate their effort. I'm trying to get accustomed to hearing them speak so I can comprehend more of what they say, and when they ask me to correct their pronunciations (and sometimes they do ask), I'll gladly do so. *smiles*

Alright, moving on...

2. All Aussies say "G'day mate!" to each other and speak in endless outback slangs

Interestingly, I actually have a friend who's still planning to go down under to continue his study this year, and the first thing that he asked about Aussies during our conversation about random Aussie stuff was "Do Aussies say 'G'day mate!' every time and speak in incomprehensible slang tongues?"

Then I was like, "D-duh. No."
And it's actually true.

An Aussie friend of mine actually mentioned to me that all the so-called outback slangs printed all over souvenirs and shirts and merchandise goods and ads and promotional campaigns for Australia are in fact spoken alright, but the frequency and intensity of them being exchanged between Aussies in daily-life conversations are not as highly-anticipated as they seem to be for the outside world. At least not anymore, seeing that Aussie youth are becoming more and more Americanized day by day.

The accent is still there, though. Now that's an authentic fact.
If you happen to catch me talking to an Aussie, you'll notice the slight alteration of my tone.
Acculturation, perhaps? Or diffusion of cross-culture influences? *slaps myself again*

3. All Indonesian international students in Australia are rich, spoiled, lazy bastards

The extended version of the above statement is "All Indonesian international students in Australia and the rest of the world are rich, spoiled, lazy bastards who got nothing to do than wasting parents' money, going clubbing, and f*cking themselves off to oblivion".

Cruel, yes. Not to mention horrendously freaky.
But ever since I got here, that's the impression people often make of me, sadly. After they correctly recognize me as an Indonesian, that is.

I'm gonna be honest here and say that some of those Indonesian students here ARE rich, spoiled, and lazy. Yet hey, stereotypically-speaking, I am an exception. At least I think I am, and I'm sure I am.

Like, yes some of us, I admit, have nothing better to do than acting spoiled, failing subjects and stuff, but MOST of us, meaning a major percentage of Indonesian students here, are actually NICE, in caps. We actually work hard, act nice, and succeed. All the social circles I'm in right now prove this thing right, that Indonesian students are in fact not all bastards.

Whew. Emotional. Hold back JJ hold back. *sighs*

Okay I should stop here before this thing gets out of hand. *laughs*

Bottom line, stereotypes can often be proven wrong.
Yet it is inevitable to keep trying too hard to prove them wrong.

And frankly, those typicalities are actually the basic, differentiating traits that every ethnic group has compared to each other. So in the end, let's not get offended and be proud of who we are instead, yeah?

Since when people recognize us as coming from a certain group with stereotypical backgrounds, at least they'll know who we are, where we come from. The good and the bad.

Before we can slam them down with the cold-hard facts of life and open their eyes, the starting point must be there. No matter how cold and untrue that is.

That's my thought for today.
Thanks for the amazing Kevjumba for inspiring me about this! *laughs*

Peace out, people!

Saturday, February 02, 2008

...i am selfish, i am wrong...

Currently listening to: Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional

Verve Tower, Melbourne, February 2 2008

Today was the ultimate milestone to my long-awaited-and-delayed Summer freedom.
The exam went quite well. The whole three hours of it. Now I just have to surrender the rest to HIM and wait patiently. Restlessly. Summery-ly. Whatever. *giggles*

Went to Docklands to celebrate the end of this summer trimester exam week with college friends this afternoon. Took some crazy pictures (the pictures can be viewed HERE) and shared countless laughs. The weather was nice, sunny as can be, and I was basking at the thought of being free from all sorts of academic work for at least three full weeks.

And while I would like to gladly put my holiday mood on and start jabbering round aimlessly here like I usually do in my posts, I actually have a valid point to discuss for once.

I should start trying to contain myself.

Like, when I'm agitated or excited or annoyed or concerned or whatever, I tend to show my feelings blatantly, doing so while shutting down my positive perception as well as tolerance towards reality and start being the selfish, egocentric spoiled brat that I am, a dormant alter ego whom I'm not able to exert control over. And that's BAD, with caps.

It was mentioned to me by a thoughtful pal that my feelings really show. Obviously. And though those so-called wacky periods only lasted for a couple of minutes and even seconds, I know that's not a good sign.

Like, I realize that I can be occasionally bad-mouthed and sarcastic, often lashing out unnecessary critics without thinking. And I am trying to hold back.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm not holding back hard enough, and for brief split seconds, those negativities are somehow able to seep through my shattering emotional barrier and solidify themselves into unfavorable attitudes.

Gash. I really really NEED to control my emotions so as not to disturb others' personal spheres with my crazy egoistic moodswings. Before I really become a pain in the arse, for myself and for others around me.

Thank you for reminding me about this, sis. *smiles*

Have a good night, people!
And, yeah, as outdated as it may sound, HAPPY SUMMER HOLIDAY! *laughs*