...i am selfish, i am wrong...

Currently listening to: Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional

.narcissism.
Verve Tower, Melbourne, February 2 2008

Today was the ultimate milestone to my long-awaited-and-delayed Summer freedom.
The exam went quite well. The whole three hours of it. Now I just have to surrender the rest to HIM and wait patiently. Restlessly. Summery-ly. Whatever. *giggles*

Went to Docklands to celebrate the end of this summer trimester exam week with college friends this afternoon. Took some crazy pictures (the pictures can be viewed HERE) and shared countless laughs. The weather was nice, sunny as can be, and I was basking at the thought of being free from all sorts of academic work for at least three full weeks.

And while I would like to gladly put my holiday mood on and start jabbering round aimlessly here like I usually do in my posts, I actually have a valid point to discuss for once.

I should start trying to contain myself.

Like, when I'm agitated or excited or annoyed or concerned or whatever, I tend to show my feelings blatantly, doing so while shutting down my positive perception as well as tolerance towards reality and start being the selfish, egocentric spoiled brat that I am, a dormant alter ego whom I'm not able to exert control over. And that's BAD, with caps.

It was mentioned to me by a thoughtful pal that my feelings really show. Obviously. And though those so-called wacky periods only lasted for a couple of minutes and even seconds, I know that's not a good sign.

Like, I realize that I can be occasionally bad-mouthed and sarcastic, often lashing out unnecessary critics without thinking. And I am trying to hold back.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm not holding back hard enough, and for brief split seconds, those negativities are somehow able to seep through my shattering emotional barrier and solidify themselves into unfavorable attitudes.

Gash. I really really NEED to control my emotions so as not to disturb others' personal spheres with my crazy egoistic moodswings. Before I really become a pain in the arse, for myself and for others around me.

Thank you for reminding me about this, sis. *smiles*

Have a good night, people!
And, yeah, as outdated as it may sound, HAPPY SUMMER HOLIDAY! *laughs*