...about falling in love...

Gaah, finally, another entry! Jeez, kenapa ya dua mingguan lebih ini gue susah banget nyari waktu senggang buat buka Internet? Even buat buka friendster aja susahnya minta ampun. Phew. Gila. Uda kangen banget banget banget mau nulis blog lagi.

Eniweiz… Many things had happened during those precious wasted days. Ada Social Science Camp yang asik asik banget, ada insiden 'Janji Kelingking' [Nah, yang ini bisa dibaca di blognya Rere, scara gue rada males buat menceritakan ulang lagi ^^], ada syuting English 4 Fun di TVRI [yang berawal dengan derita dan berakhir dengan cukup membahagiakan. haha], ada acara ngeband [whew, ternyata asik juga ngeband sama mereka], ada latian teater [yang super nggak jelas, btw], dan most recently of all, ada bagian jatuh cinta juga.

Nah loh, koq ada jatuh cinta segala??

Hahahaha. Jadi gini, guys… Nggak tau kenapa, beberapa hari ini gue ngerasa lagi obsessed [atau lebih tepatnya dibilang infatuated] sama seseorang. Sebut aja dia S [yeah, I know, another codename, sorry for that ^^"]. Well, I dunno, but this particular S somehow caught my eye, and this time my heart along with it. Gue nggak bisa berenti meng-admire betapa mempesonanya dia, begitu baeknya dia sama gue, begitu misteriusnya, begitu anehnya, even begitu simpelnya dia bersikap. Well, orangnya sih aga2 kebanyakan gaya, tapi yah tetep aja eye-catchy. Dan walaupun gue belum lama kenal deket sama dia tapi gue udah ngerasa kalo, well, the sparks are really there, between us. Ada aja chemistry-nya, gitu. At least for me, nggak tau dia gimana. Yang jelas, mungkin emang masih terlalu dini buat memproklamirkan perasaan ini sebagai kondisi 'jatuh cinta', tapi paling enggak gue tau kalo at least gue lagi kena sama yang namanya sindrom infatuation, atau extreme obsession sama dia.

Duh. Tiba-tiba jadi speechless. Padahal tadi niatnya mau cerita banyak gitu, biar dramatis. Hehehe.

Oh ya, about Z… Belakangan ini gue juga jadi lebih sering berantem sama Z. Nggak tau juga kenapa. Gimana mau ngejelasin sama dia tentang perasaan gue kalo gue sendiri masih bingung setengah mati sama semua perasaan ini? Duh. Nggak tau lagi mesti ngomong apa ke dia. Yang jelas gue bener-bener lagi cape banget ngomong sama Z. Cape ngejelasin, cape ngadepin sejuta pertanyaan jujur yang keluar dari dia. Gue cape sama semua rentetan pertanyaan dia yang walaupun gue tau nggak bermaksud apa-apa tapi somehow nyakitin, ngebingungin. Gue tau dia nggak salah apa-apa sama gue; malahan dia udah setengah mati berusaha buat selalu jadi yang terbaik buat gue, mencoba narik perhatian gue, mencoba ngertiin gue… Tapi tetep aja somehow ada suatu boundary yang selalu bikin kita clash. Maybe I'm the one who’s not doing the right thing here, but hey, honestly, I don’t even know what the fuckin' hell I am doing. Fiuh. Nggak ngerti mesti gimana. Dan kalau ditanya apakah gue masih sayang sama Z, well, yes, I still do, tapi jujur gue nggak tau itu jawaban yang masih gue inginkan atau nggak. How about S?

I never knew love can bring me this far in trouble.

S is perfect. Awesome. Irresistible. Yet Z fulfills everything that no other people can. Which one should I choose?

Ah. Nggak tau ah. Cape mikirinnya.

Now I'd like to send a couple of shout-outs, btw, for a lot of people had been very supportive to me these days, and I'm feeling so immensely grateful to every single one of them for coloring my days with dazzling smiles and cheery laughs… Rere, thanks for being such an understanding best-friend. Sori ya nggak bisa cerita banyak. Richard, wassup bro? Never knew you were THAT thoughtful… Thanks for those accompanying moments! Nice new haircut, btw… Neja, sis, couz, cepetan balik, udah nggak sabar pengen ngobrol banyak lagi sama loe… Janji nginep lagi di rumah gue yaaa? Dennis, thanks for those funny messages you sent me the other day… Ternyata lo tuh lucu banget ya? Angela, Tracy, Darius, Charles, thanks for letting me join your band, guys! You guys rock! Vicky, what a stunning voice, girl! Keep it up!! And of course to all other people who had contributed to my days this far, thanks a million for those smiles you gave me. My days had been superb, and not a single piece of it would've been happy if it wasn't because of you lot… Thanks! ^^

So… A lot of things had happened throughout the days, painful ones, memorable ones, and I'm thanking the Almighty Creator up there for every second of it. Right now I'm just hoping that this week would be spectacular as well. BCR uda mulai lagi, tapi koq gue ngerasa ceritanya jadi aga2 maksa ya?? Whatever. Luv yah.

--balthazor66